Page 23 of End Game

He’s not usually so affectionate, especially not in front of other people. It used to be a battle to get him to hug me hello and goodbye. Now he’s all over me. It’s not sexual, I don’t think. He just wants to touch me. I’m his security blanket. Against what, I’m not sure.

It’s such an unexpected turn in our friendship, and at the same time, it feels so natural. Barrett is direct, up front. If he wanted this to be something more than it is, I feel confident he would tell me. In the last fourteen years, not once has he ever even hinted that he wanted to be more. And that’s fine. My crush in high school was just that—a crush. I don’t have feelings for him now.

Amir and Greg keep the conversation flowing, talking about nothing in particular as we make the mile and a half trek to the pub. I know Barrett doesn’t like to dissect the game right away; he wants a little bit of time to ruminate before he tears apart his performance.

Not that there is much to tear apart. He played well. He got a sack on the quarterback in the first quarter and only went on from there. Together, the quarterback went down six times in the course of the hour. They only gave up one score. Not a bad way to start the season. So what if their offense is milquetoast at best? It’s only the first game. There’s plenty of time for the offense to get it together.

There’s already a table waiting for us at the crowded pub. One of the benefits of hanging out with football players, I guess. Barrett takes the seat beside me, Johanna on my other side, and he props his arm on the back of my chair.

“You good, Dee?” His big hand covers my bare shoulder.

“I’m great.”

He clears his throat. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah?”

He meets my eyes. “I wouldn’t want to finish my senior season any other way.”

My heart pangs at the idea of graduation. It feels so far, and at the same time, only a few short months away. I need to start thinking about what my life will look like once I’m done with school. With my dad’s health issues, I should probably stick pretty close to Amherst. At the same time, I don’t want to be right on top of my parents. I definitely don’t want to live with them again. I might have to. I need to find a job. I need to—there’s so much I have to do.

“I’m glad I get to be here for it,” I tell him, and he grins at me.

“You and me, together against the rest of the world,” he says.

Chapter 8

Barrett

I’m flying high on adrenaline and endorphins. I’ve just had a stellar game, eaten a fucking fantastic meal, and I have the prettiest girl on campus on my arm.

Okay. So she’s not on my arm, per se. She’s with me. We’re going to this party together. We’re going to drink and laugh and have a good time.

Diana looks drop dead gorgeous. After dinner, the guys and I dropped her and Johanna off at their house to get ready. We picked her up an hour later, once we were ready to head out. She’s wearing a thin blue slip of a dress that shows off her killer legs and the gentle slope of her neck. Her shoes are thick wedge sandals that raise her about five inches off the ground. This puts the top of her head in line with my shoulders, so when she hugs me, she tucks in directly beneath my chin.

I hold her close, breathing in the comforting scent of her perfume.

“What’s gotten into you?” She laughs, stepping back and hugging her arms to her chest.

Her.

Also, I went home and jacked off, and now I’m feeling even better. After the intensity of the game, I needed that release. It didn’t satisfy me, though; it gave me a desire for more.

With her. Nobody else. I don’t want anyone else, so why should I bother pretending?

I open my mouth, gearing up to blurt everything out.

This is it. This is the moment. Our entire friendship is about to change. How can it not?

Instead, I hold out my hand. She stares at it for a few moments before she slides her hand into mine.

It’s like coming home. Like falling into bed and finding the mattress is already warm and cozy. Like fitting the last piece of a jigsaw into place. Like my hand was meant to hold hers.

The Delta party is the place to be on a Friday night. We have a pretty decent crowd: Miles and Sam, Tucker and Mason, Greg, Amir, and Mackenzie, Miles’s sister, a freshman this year. The only one who didn’t want to come tonight was Wes, who mumbled something under his breath and turned back to his book. He doesn’t socialize much—or at all, except under duress. He doesn’t really talk to anyone that’s not part of the football team. I don’t begrudge him his silences; we all have our own shit to deal with.

And tonight, I have to keep my hands off of Diana. She looks good enough to eat in that silky slip of a dress. I’m so afraid that one of these days I’m going to slip up and blurt out how I feel about her. I love her. I love her so much it physically hurts. And we’re just friends.

I won’t be content with only one night. I don’t want a casual hookup with her: I want forever. I want a lifetime with her, a real relationship. A chance at happiness. Something like what her parents have, nothing even close for the farce of a marriage my parents have.