Page 135 of End Game

“Stop?” I edge backwards. What did I do?

His face falls. “No, no, everything is good,” he assures me quickly. “It feels really good,” he says.

Oh.

“Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” he blurts immediately, and then flushes. He clears his throat. “Yes, please.”

I cup him over his shorts, the length of him like steel wrapped in velvet enshrined in cotton. Working my hand inside the waistband of his shorts, I wrap my hand around his steely length and squeeze. He sighs and pushes his pelvis up. I learn the feel of him. I barely got my hands on him last time, more concerned with tasting him than touching him.

I don’t regret our first time together. I was in pain, yes, and I needed a distraction, yes, and he delivered—fuck, did he deliver. There isn’t anyone else in the world I trusted to take care of me in the way he did, without taking advantage or making the situation worse.

I care about him deeply. In time, I could grow to love him. We’ve only been dating for a hot minute, so I’m not quite there yet, but I can see it on the horizon once we know each other deeper in this way.

Barrett sighs and grabs my wrist. “Baby, if you want to get to the next act…”

Reluctantly I remove my hand from inside his shorts. Already I miss the feeling of him in my hand.

He rolls over, heading to his bedside table.

“I have an IUD,” I tell him.

His eyes are wide as he looks back at me. “You want…”

“I got tested after our night together,” I say. “I trust you. I want to feel you.”

“I’ve never gone without a condom before,” he says.

“Neither have I. It’s a step I want to take with you, and only with you.”

“An IUD isn’t infallible.”

“You wanted to marry me when you thought I was pregnant,” I point out.

He blushes. “I want to marry you even if you’re not pregnant. That doesn’t mean I’m ready for it.”

“I want forever with you,” I tell him. “Whether we get married or not, whether we have babies or not, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. So if something happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, that’s fine, too.”

Barrett swallows. “Diana…”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” he says, breathing out a laugh. “And not just because you don’t want to use a condom. I just—I really fucking love you.”

I’m not ready to say the words back, not yet. I have no doubt I will one day. Probably sooner rather than later. Any day now. Just not yet.

He works his shorts down his hips, kicking them away until he too is gloriously naked, his body on display for me. Barrett is a big guy in every sense of the word: thick belly, strong hips, broad chest, and a proud cock sticking straight up and slightly to the left.

His hand on my shoulder, he urges me onto my back against the mattress. He follows me, hovering over me.

“You’re sure?”

I cup his cheek. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

He notches his tip against my entrance. My legs wrap around his hips. Slowly, slowly, he pushes inside.

It’s like every nerve ending is on fire. I can’t believe we’re really doing this. Every time I kiss him, every time I touch him, I have to remind myself that this isn’t a dream, that this is really happening.