Page 112 of End Game

I shrug. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

“Yeah, I know how that goes.” Dvora sighs. “On to the next one, I guess.”

“I’m not in any hurry to date right now.”

“Oh?” Curtis looks interested now.

“With my dad being sick, it’s like the last thing on my mind. I don’t have the mental bandwidth.”

“I get that,” Mandy says. “When my parents were getting divorced, I couldn’t stomach the idea of dating anyone. Now that everything is finalized, it’s like I can breathe and be myself again.”

“Right. I just need some time. I would hate to jump into something for the wrong reasons.”

Again my mind drifts to Barrett and the new changes in our friendship. It’s not just since we had sex; since I moved to Newton, there’s been a new layer of tension there.

Am I reading too much into this? Am I manifesting something where nothing exists? We’ve been friends for fourteen years. We’ve been through those awkward pre-teen years and even more painful teenage years.

There are no other guys on my radar. The blip with Trey was just that—a blip. It didn’t go anywhere, and looking back, I’m kind of glad for that. It wasn’t right. There was no spark, no fire. I was more interested in the glimmer of excitement of something new than actually interested in him. It wasn’t fair to him.

And it’s not fair to Barrett if the same thing is happening now. We’ve been friends for so long. He deserves to be with someone that will love and cherish him, and I don’t know that that’s me. It’s not that I don’t love him. I do. He’s amazing. He’s my best friend.

With school and my dad and soccer and graduation and applying to grad school… I don’t know that I have the mental energy to devote to anything else. I can barely find the time to do my laundry every week. I’m definitely slacking in every conceivable area in which I can, and not by choice. Something has to give, and I’m worried one day soon, it will be me.

“I think I need to go to the bookstore,” Dvora announces as the waitress drops off the check. “I have an urgent need to check out the Annabelle Phelps backstock.”

“Do you want company? I have to pick up a new book anyway,” I say, a little self-conscious. Maybe she wasn’t issuing an invitation. Maybe she needs a little time to herself.

“That would be great,” Dvora says with a smile. “Your job is to make sure I don’t buy more than five books. My wallet can’t handle much more than that.”

I laugh. “Deal.”

After the check is dealt with, we say goodbye and head towards the bookshop. Dvora is so effortlessly chic and fashionable, I feel a little like a slob standing next to her. What does she see in me? I’m a wreck, a mess, and she’s so effortlessly put together. It’s only natural to feel insecure. That’s like my default setting these days. I’m all too aware of my clearance rack shoes and school-issued clothes.

“What genres are you into?” she asks as we enter the small, cramped shop. I see Wes tucked away in the crime fiction section.

“Mainly romance. I like happy ever afters,” I explain.

“Me too! Twins!” Dvora is excited now. “Any particular sub genre? Contemporary, historical, paranormal…?”

“Contemporary. I love best friends to lovers, and I like books with athletes.” I clear my throat. “I like reading about strong, confident friendships that can’t be wrecked by a couple getting together or breaking up. The side characters are sometimes my favorite part, the way they interact with and support the main characters.”

“Okay, seriously, I think we were destined to be best friends,” Dvora says.

I grin. “I think I’m okay with that.”

We peruse the stacks, exclaiming over new books and reading the synopsis aloud to one another. I find a couple of books that look interesting. She has seven already in her basket.

I lose track of how long we browse. Maybe five seconds, maybe two hours. It hardly feels like time is passing, we’re having so much fun. At the end, Dvora has eleven books picked out, and I have a respectable six to take home with me.

“You want to grab some coffee?” she asks.

Keep this afternoon going? Sure. Why not?

“I’m in,” I tell her, and she grins.

“Perfect. I know just the place.”

Chapter 35