Page 82 of Blitz

We stand awkwardly in a circle. I don’t know what to say—to either of them.

How long ago did he decide he wanted to stop being my friend?

How much of my life is a lie?

I have this inexplicable urge to call my moms. Jamal. Someone who knows me, someone who knows the past. My friends are great, but they won’t understand. The Prince twins were my whole world. “Best friend” doesn’t adequately explain the depth of our decade-plus friendship. “Girlfriend” doesn’t adequately explain how much I love her.

Barrett would be sympathetic for a minute and then tell me to get over myself. Amir would tell me to break up with her. Wes would grunt and say that’s what I deserved for deciding to hook up with someone in the first place. Greg and Miles? I don’t even know what they would say.

Mason and I need to have a hard conversation. Several of them. But we can’t do that with her brother chaperoning us like an awkward third-wheel. We have to get to the bottom of this sex hang-up she has. I only want her to feel good with me. That she doesn’t enjoy herself after sex is a no go for me. She needs to do some hard thinking about what’s making her not feel good with me. I don’t like that she treats sex so callously. Not when it means so much to me.

And then there’s her drinking. I don’t care if she has one or two on a night out. What concerns me is the constant need to go out and drink every weekend. Getting flat out drunk every time. What’s wrong with staying sober? What’s wrong with having a few drinks and not getting drunk?

I’m not ready to lay down an ultimatum. We need to talk about it first. We haven’t even addressed this yet. But I can’t keep surrounding myself with people who drink heavily every weekend. It’s not good for me.

And I don’t know that she’ll pick me over drinking with her friends. I don’t know that I can ask her to decide.

Mason slides her arms around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder. “You seem tense, King.”

“I’m fine.” I wrap my arms around her and breathe in the familiar citrus scent of her shampoo. “A lot on my mind.”

She frowns. “You can talk to me.”

Except that I can’t.

I force a smile and run my thumb across her cheek. “I will.”

When I’m ready. Maybe never.

She rises onto her tiptoes for a kiss. I can’t say no. I let her kiss me, sweet and chaste.

Mason studies me, her eyes worried. “You don’t seem like yourself tonight.”

“I’m fine,” I lie again.

“King…”

I kiss her temple. “Let’s just enjoy the party. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

She’s adding an extra event to her repertoire after one of the other girls tore her hamstring. She’s out for the foreseeable future, maybe the rest of the season, so Mason is slotting in to her spot in the relay. It’s right up her alley. She’s going to smash it. As much as it sucks that the other girl is injured, sometimes that’s what it takes to get ahead: one opportunity, one chance to prove her mettle.

She sinks back against me, her back to my front, and draws my arm around her. I’m happy enough to stand here with her and let her monopolize the conversation with her friends. Micah bobs nearby, talking excitedly with Bryce about something to do with a manga series he’s been obsessed with for the last ten years.

It’s nice to see that some things haven’t changed.

I drink my water and hold Mason, and the party continues on around us. Is this what I was missing the last two and a half years? Somehow I don’t think football parties are as well behaved as the track team. Sure, there might be more video games—I don’t think any of the guys on the team have ever passed up a game of Madden, even the pretty boy quarterbacks and tough guy tight ends—and a few more scantily-clad women, but for the most part, football parties don’t get out of control. Coach keeps us on a tight leash. Nobody wants to risk getting kicked off the team for one night of hedonistic pleasure.

Frat parties, on the other hand…

Mason turns to me, a question in her eyes.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” she says, then kisses my cheek. “I just really love you.”

One of the girls surrounding us swoons. “Aw. You guys are so cute.”

I close my eyes and press my forehead to her temple. “I love you, too, Princess.”