Page 60 of Just Wait

Possibly to get high.

I have no idea.

Riser leans close and says, “If you get stressed and want to leave, or anyone starts messing with you, come find me. Okay?”

“Okay,” I agree on autopilot. “But I doubt anyone will.”

“The reporters are highly observant,” he says, bumping his shoulder against mine. “Don’t be afraid to hold your ground. Tell them no comment, and if they don’t let up, walk away.”

“I will. Thank you for the heads-up.”

Riser nods, stepping back and giving me some space.

The hallway gets colder with his distance, and I wish he would have stayed close enough for his arm to brush mine. Okay, technically it was the material of his shirt, but the point is valid.

“Lulu, that dress is killer.” Malcolm’s stormy scent hits my nose as he appears on my right, tossing his arm around my shoulder. “I swear, I spent the last twenty feet trailing behind you like a puppy with my tongue hanging out. The hem is the perfect length to make everyone think they can get a peek of your ass, but just long enough not to show anyone the goods.”

I laugh, letting myself fall against his chest. He smells amazing, and that lighthearted energy is contagious.

Maybe I am going to be okay after all.

I mean, I know I will be eventually, but everything is still fresh. I have these moments when I randomly think I should tell Theo about something, only to realize that’s not going to happen, and it stings.

Malcolm is an excellent distraction from that misery, though. His tank top is ripped so low that my forearm brushes the skin of his bare side. He’s warm and comforting.

I think I want to stick around, at least for a while.

“I’m going to do my best to keep the fans happy without letting the groupies overwhelm you,” Malcolm says close to my ear. “If it gets to be too much, let me know. Okay?”

Jesus.

He really is thoughtful.

Riser too.

After my panic attack last night, I bet they are concerned that I’ll freak out.

I spent a month watching women hang all over my boyfriend and never reacted. I trusted him, so I did everything I could to keep it from getting to me, including straight-up skipping the after-parties. I understood that it was part of the game required to keep the fans happy.

Theo never once checked in with me like they just did.

I think that says it all.

Chapter Sixteen

Kincaid

When she smiles, Lumen is stunning. She’s always beautiful, but seeing her lighten up and enjoy herself is strangely cathartic.

I’ve been disappointed a lot in my life by the people I was supposed to be able to count on. My own parents couldn’t stand to have to raise me. They dropped me off with my grandma so often that I basically lived at her house. Hell, even when they didn’t, I used to ride my bike over there just to get away from them. She died when I was in tenth grade, and it fucked me up for a while.

By then I was able to take care of myself. I worked an after-school job to keep the lights and water on, and luckily, our house was paid off from what my dad got when my grandfather died.

I told myself I’d never fall into addiction like they did. That fell to shit about the time I started working four to midnight when I had to be at school the next morning at seven-thirty. The line cooks at the restaurant I worked at could get anything, and coke gave me the energy I needed to do it all.

While my high school buddies were smoking weed and getting blackout drunk, I was planning the perfect balance of having enough energy to make it through my shift while knowing I had to crash by one-thirty. If I didn’t, there was no chance I was waking up in time for school.

When you live in poverty, life is all about the grind. There’s very little joy, and drugs are a quick escape, even if that high always fades. Understanding my parents doesn’t make the resentment burn any less. They didn’t even try to be there for me in between their benders.