Page 51 of Just Wait

The sadness and nostalgia fade away.

I release him, taking a step back.

Flashes of the hallway replay in my mind, and I’m disgusted that I even let him touch me. Now I have to find a clinic to get tested when I don’t have insurance. I have to find a way to pay my storage payment and the balance owed to my apartment building before they send it to collections.

“Where did you spend the night last night?” Theo asks, studying my face. “How did you get into the venue? I told Grant to leave a ticket and backstage pass for you. Why didn’t you answer my calls? I would have met you at the gate.”

“Are you serious right now?” My eyes burn, and there’s a shaky feeling in my chest that leads me to believe I’m about to cry, even if it’s the last thing I want to do.

“I was worried sick,” he says, trying to grab my hand. “I threw up on and off all night.”

“How many times have you cheated on me?” I shake out of his hold, my fury coming back in full-force.

I wish I understood these rolling waves of sorrow and anger. I’d much rather stick with being pissed, but my system is indecisive.

Theo’s mouth opens and closes, but no words come out.

“I have a lot on my plate, financially speaking. I need to know how much of an emergency it is that I get myself checked out,” I say, not even trying to cushion my words.

It sucks that I had to see what I did, but I’m also grateful I didn’t have the chance to sleep with him afterward.

The worst part is realizing that, no matter what he says, I’m not going to be able to believe it.

“You know better than that,” he says, frowning. “I love you. Come on. Let’s go lie down on the bus. We have some time before I have to get ready for the show, and I want to spend it holding you.”

“How many times?” I hiss, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Do I need to go over there and question your bandmates?”

They’re way more loyal to him than they are to me, which I get, but Remmy was trying to covertly give me a warning when he told me to start looking out for myself. I thought about that last night when I was lying on Liminal’s bus, feeling like I was about to die.

Jesse knew what was happening, and he tried to cover for Theo, but I think I could get Remmy to tell me, if I got him alone.

“Never! I’ve been faithful for our entire relationship,” Theo growls.

“Until last night,” I say bitterly.

“I didn’t have sex with her!”

“Good to know you stuck your dick in her mouth rather⁠—”

“Jesus, Lumen,” he says, cutting me off. “I will spend however long it takes to earn back your trust. I made a mistake leaving with her, but it⁠—”

“If you try to tell me it wasn’t what it looked like, I will kick you in the balls,” I say, laughing derisively. “It doesn’t matter. No matter what you say, I won’t be able to believe it.”

“I love you,” he says. “I don’t even know why I left the meet and greet with her. It was stupid, and I regret it. She said she needed to use the bathroom, and I did too. I didn’t expect her to pop up in the men’s room. I fucked up, and I knew it immediately. I told the guys I was going to walk. Quit the band and go after you⁠—”

“Don’t do that.” My head shakes involuntarily. “You’re talented, and you’re just starting your career. Not to mention, you’ll never recover financially if you break your contract.”

“I only want to make it if you’re by my side,” he says, his tone almost pleading. “I can’t do this without you, Lu.”

“You can,” I assure him.

If I can go back to Florida and rebuild my life from nothing, he can certainly travel around the country in style, playing for sold-out crowds every night.

“You have to.” I smile tightly. “Because after this, we can’t be together. Even if I tried to forgive you, I’d end up resenting you. Then I’d end up resenting myself for compromising what I think is right to be with you. I saw what that did to my parents.” My shoulder bounces as my eyes get watery. “Let me know if I need to sign anything for the songs I wrote. They were made for you guys, and I don’t want you to run into any trouble with the label. I think it’s fair that you pay what I owe the apartment complex because you said you would. I wouldn’t have broken the lease if you hadn’t talked me into coming with you.”

I step to the side, trying to get around him. I need to get out of here before I break down, and it’s coming fast.

Theo steps up behind me, grabbing my wrist. “Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg? Because I will.”