Page 90 of Where Angels Fall

“Where is the drive?” He demands.

I can barely hear him over the ringing in my ears.

I think of Ash’s eyes. The way the wild orbs of blue soften when they look at me. The way he protects what’s his and feels everything so deeply. No, he’s not a monster. He’s a broken boy who never got held again.

“Just as you loved her, I love her son.” His eyes narrow, lip curling. “Go to hell,” I whisper.

Zeke’s fist flies toward me, and darkness crashes in. But not before I hear Kai’s voice.

“I’ll fucking kill you...”

Chapter 30

Ash

Putting as much distance between me and the building I just left, my bike snarls underneath me as I weave in between the traffic. Cars skid out of my way and angry honks follow me, but I couldn’t give a single fuck even if I wanted to.

If I stop, I’ll turn right around and go back to the Dally building. I’ll march up to the top floor and put a bullet in the middle of Maddison’s father’s head, for ruining the only good thing in my life.

I guess it was doomed from the start. There is no way a girl like her could love a man like me. A monster.

I laugh a feral laugh at how stupid I am. How stupid it all is. I’m a God, a Devil. I don’t feel heartbreak…I don’t even have a heart.

I’m exactly what my mother said I am. I still remember tiptoeing into her room that night, slinking under the blankets and cuddling up next to her. I was so scared, so sad. But her body felt different. Cold and lifeless, unmoving.

I remember begging her to hold me, to tell me it was okay. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. Her lips were blue and vomit stained her pillow; her mouth parted as if she was about to speak.

But she didn’t speak.

She left me to go be with him. Her last words forever etched into my soul.

I remember laughing then, too. I don’t know why, but something visceral cracked inside me that day, and I became the monster she knew I always was.

Wind batters my white knuckles as I rev the bike, faster and harder, leaning around the curves.

“You sick, fucking monster.”

It plays on repeat in my mind; it drives me crazy. But now all instead of my mother’s lifeless body, I see the look in Maddison’s eyes. The way they fluttered closed, ready for my bullet to find her.

“FUCK!” I scream, the word swallowed by the harsh wind. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” My voice cracks as I let go of one of the handlebars and rub at my aching chest. The pressure is too much.

I ride until the sun begins to set over the mountains, and I keep riding. I ride until my thoughts become a blur of rumbling engines and pain, until my eyes sting and my lips are chapped.

When I finally pull into the club's parking lot, exhaustion sits heavy on my shoulders. I feel like I could sleep for weeks. But I can’t. I have a war to prepare for. A war that should have been my soul purpose all along, not fawning over some girl who doesn’t belong.

Some girl.

I know deep down she isn’t just some girl. She’s the girl. The one who glows so bright, the darkness around me doesn’t seem so endless. The one who calms the wild beast clawing inside of me. The one who is so pure, her touch melts away the blood coating my hands.

I’ll never be good enough to deserve her light.

The familiar sounds and smells of the club envelope me as I step inside, and it all feels so empty and lifeless without the blonde head of hair and those sparkling eyes.

“Where the fuck is he?”

The snarl snaps me out of my head. My head lifts, eyes locking onto Kaleb as he strides towards me. His usually blank face is fractured, rage and something worse flickering through his black eyes.

Fear.