Page 13 of Meet Cute

Tears blur my vision but I can’t find it in myself to cry. Of course this would happen. I try my best to find a silver living only for the entire damn cloud to land on top of me. Chalupa’s the only constant I’ve had, and now he’s gone? Because I’m so stupid I couldn’t close a window?

Soft vibrations emit from my phone but I can’t care enough to check who it is. I don’t wanna talk to anyone. I just want to die. I truly, honestly, just want to die. Maybe it’s an overreaction, and maybe it's immature, but it's how I feel.

Even if someone were to find him, I couldn’t afford to get him microchipped. I didn’t intend to get a cat, but I found him. He came to me when I needed him and I fucked it up. I always fuck everything up.

My phone continues to buzz as I collapse onto my bed. Every muscle in my body feels numb, and my brain is nothing but TV static. Amidst it all I manage to fall asleep, but then the next two days of my life are nothing but a blur.

I wake up, fail to get out of bed, and fall back asleep. It’s so disgusting. How can I pretend to care but I can’t even get off my ass to put up posters or get help? Do I just get off on being a victim?

When I finally find it in myself to brush my damn teeth, my attention shifts everywhere but the mirror. I’m a goddamn ghoul. It’s really funny how all the photos on my social media have me glowing and being all happy, when that hasn’t ever really been the case.

This is the true me. Sunken in eyes that look dead, hollow cheeks, and a frown that’s permanently etched into my tawny skin. Get a grip, Duncan. Or don’t. It probably doesn’t matter anymore, anyways.

Finn hasn’t left me nearly as many messages as I thought he would. Mostly he’s been telling me about his day and repeatedly asking if I’m okay. Haley on the other hand has gone ballistic, spamming every account I’ve ever created and calling me hundreds of times.

Yet it’s not Haley I respond to, it’s Finn.

sorry. my cat ran away.

Finn replies instantly, but I figured he would. That’s exactly why I chose him. It’s selfish, but he’s convenient. He warps his entire schedule just to talk to me, and that makes me feel special.

Finn!

What!? Chalupa!? Why!?

i left my window open

Oh my god. I’m so sorry.

its not ur fault. Im just an idoit

idiot*

case and point.

Duncan, you are not an idiot. Not even close. Would you like me to come over and pick you up? We can look around town to see if he’s hiding somewhere.

we wont find him, its hopeless

If you love him, isn’t it worth a try?

Of course it’s worth a try, and I hate that he’s right. I’ve been wallowing in self pity instead of trying to find my poor cat. If anything happened to him… I don’t wanna think about it.

i guess

what time can you be here?

TEN

This time I leave the window open on purpose. Just in case Chalupa decides to come back while we’re gone. I doubt he will, but it’s worth a shot.

I don’t know how many times I can say that I feel like a total idiot until it gets repetitive, but I really am such a fool. I should’ve already been out there searching for him. My stomach is hollow with worry, because literally anything could happen.

Coyotes. Careless drivers. Fuck, even the dark side of humanity that sees a defenseless animal and does the unthinkable to it. This really does feel so hopeless, but Finn seems so sure about it all. His optimism is almost infectious. Almost.

“Where do you think we should start? What does he like?” Finn asks as we cruise down an almost empty street. It’s so late, yet he’s here helping me try to clean up my own mess.

His question is sort of hard to answer though. What does Chalupa like? Sleeping? Eating? Not exactly helpful. “Um… I don’t know. I don’t think he’d go too far from home.”