Page 11 of Meet Cute

“Uh-huh,” I grin, “his name is Finn and he’s really sweet. He works at the gas station.”

“...The gas station? How old is he?”

“Um. I don’t know. B-But he’s not old! He’s our age and stuff. Like, he has sorta rosy cheeks and a cute little triangle smile and—”

“Oh my god!” Haley squeals happily. “You have a crush on him, don’t you?”

Blushing profusely, I groan. “I’m a grown man. I don’t have a crush on him.”

“But you like him?”

“Haley.”

“Duncan! C’mon! We never get to talk like this.”

“And we never will.” My eyes glance over to the clock on my microwave. “It’s getting late, and I’m going to bed.”

Haley groans. “Don’t hang up—”

My phone beeps as I end the call. I’m sure she’ll begin spam texting me so after I turn on do-not-disturb mode I set it face-down on my nightstand. There’s almost something sad about how quickly my mood shifts once I’m all alone in my bedroom.

The sheets of my bed are too hot, but I’m already stripped down to underwear and a loose fitting tank top with a sea otter on the front. Turning on my side, I try to shut my eyes and fall asleep. I know I shouldn’t trust how I feel when the sky is dark, but man is it hard to ignore it all.

Try is the key word though, because I really can’t bring myself to actually sleep. My body is slick with sweat and my clothes are sticky and I can hear the passing cars outside and—

Breathe.

Can’t let myself get overwhelmed. Sitting up, I grab my phone just in time to read a text I missed.

Finn!

Hi, Duncan! Sorry for being quiet. I had a lot of shifts recently, and if I’m not at work I’m sleeping!

I hope you didn’t think I didn’t have fun or anything. I really liked hanging out with you, and I hope we can do it again!

I’m really sorry. I just realized how bad this looks. If you don’t want to be friends anymore, I understand.

Sorry.

And I thought I was bad when it came to spiraling. I feel for him, though. Back when things actually mattered I probably spent way too much time stewing over stupid things that didn’t matter.

Before he can keep typing, I throw him a response so he knows I’m not mad at him. It’s not as though having my phone blown up is helping my mood, though. How can you send someone that many messages and not once think “hey maybe I’m being too much?”

ur ok :) hope things have been well

I could probably say more, but there’s no reason to. Even if it’s annoying, I’m not really upset with him. I do enjoy Finn’s company, but I’m not about to chase anyone either. Well, maybe a little. A little chasing could be okay.

My phone begins buzzing with his responses but I let it fall to the bed instead, opting to get up and do something useful with my time.

Grabbing my laundry hamper and sliding on my fuzzy white slippers, I slip into the hallway and press the shiny metal elevator button to head up to the laundry room. Putting it on the ground level would’ve been too easy, I guess.

Feelings are hard. I don’t even know my own, how could I know anyone else's? I’m glad that Finn texted, but I have this unnerving feeling in my stomach that something is wrong.

What if I’m only building up who I want him to be in my head? Could I see myself in a relationship of any kind with him? For all I know he could be straight. What does it even mean to be somebody’s friend?

I thought I knew, but sometimes it feels totally opposite. Haley is different. She’s only ever seen through a screen, and over time I’ve probably become a little desensitized to our relationship as a whole.

Of course I love her. I care about her more than I care about myself, but I think that not having an aspect of physicality makes it almost feel “fake” at times. Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe I’m just socially stunted.