Page 74 of Walk the Line

“As opposed to me asking you about you getting expelled that time?”

She looks off into the distance as she says, “Well, now you know. And I’m gonna go.”

I can tell this is too much for her right now, so I step aside as she walks past everyone and heads out.

The rest of the group doesn’t move, and keeps their eyes locked on Coach and Sierra as they talk, but when I think enough time has passed for Kaylah to be far away, I leave the building as well.

When I get home, I make the call I’ve been putting off making since I was sixteen years old.

“Julius?” My Dad’s voice is a warm reminder of the man that was always great to me.

“Dad.”

“Is everything okay?” I feel the awkwardness in his voice which is only fair after four years of no talking.

“Yeah. I know I haven’t talk to you in a while,” I say.

“It’s okay that you haven’t, as long as everything’s going well with you.”

“I’ve been focusing a lot on Hockey.” I regret it as soon as I say it.

His calm tone doesn’t change as he says, “Your Mum and brother told me.” I knew they would but it’s typical of them regardless. “Hockey was always the sport you wanted to do, right?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“So why are you treating it in a way that will make you hate it?” he asks.

I go with the first response I can. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“But if you carry on the way you are you might end up hating it.”

I developed a passion for Hockey from a very young age and while I can’t ever see myself hating it, I can see myself hating the fact that I’ve turned it into something it shouldn’t be.

“But this isn’t just for me,” I argue anyway, my mind going back to that night.

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

“No, I’m not wrong, it’s for you too.”

“Go on.”

I pause. “Because if it wasn’t for me, you would still have your Hockey career.”

“Are you ready to talk about it now?”

Another moment of silence courtesy of me.

“I know you must hate me,” I let out.

“I don’t hate you but I do miss you.”

Words I never expected to hear, and I can’t do anything but be honest with them. “I miss you too, but I didn’t know you would miss me. I thought you would blame me.”

“For what?” My dad asks.