Page 32 of Mr. Blackwood

“Whatever you have to offer me.”

I was whimpering, and my body shook with unbridled pleasure. He had teased me for long enough, and I wanted to see what he really had to offer me.

Jabari stepped into his closet and returned with what I knew to be floggers and nipple clamps. I had never used them before, but I had seen them in porn.

“Please be easy with me.”

“Remember the word that you chose earlier when I said pick a word that was meaningful to you?”

“Exclusive?”

“Use it when you feel the need for me to stop. Otherwise, surrender and indulge in the pleasure that I have to give to you.”

Was this the dark edge that I suspected he was hiding underneath? Jabari freed me from the handcuffs and helped me off the bed. Chills popped out on my arms and down my legs when he walked me down the hall to a room that had been locked previously. He had explained that it was just another guest room, but he needed to have it cleaned before he opened it again. I hadn’t thought much about it.

There was a large red and black leather X in the middle of the room, a couple of benches around the perimeter, and a swing on a door in the corner.

“What’s this?” I asked, taking in the large X that he led me to.

“It’s called a St Andrews Cross.” He continued explaining how he would fasten me to it and what he would do when he had me affixed to it. He asked if I was okay with it, and I agreed.

He applied the nipple clamps first, and I tried to be a big girl, allowing him to apply as much pressure as I could withstand—which wasn’t much.

The interesting part of it all was seeing how turned on Jabari was as he took control and attached me to the cross. I never would have suspected this was his dark side. Once I was on the cross, he used the flogger to tease me and make my skin sensitive.

When he finally flogged me, it brought mixed feelings out in me. There was a fear that he might lose control and forget to be gentle with me, and there was a fear that I would become addicted to it, because part of it felt good. The fears dissipated as pleasure took over.

He alternated how he introduced me to it through a session that was gentle and somewhat savage. The most surprising part was how much I enjoyed it, and I even allowed him to tighten the nipple clamps halfway through the session.

When he finished, he released me from the cross and carried me back to his bedroom. Jabari applied ointment to my limbs, kissed my face, and caressed my hands. He was surprisingly tender with me and spoke words of affirmation.

“You’re so beautiful, Cami. I love the power that you showed in there. You were in complete control, able to take everything that I gave to you, and never buckled under the pressure. I think you were designed for me. I love your intellect, but I also love your sensuality. I admire your no-fear attitude, but I also admire your ability to submit and be sensitive.”

He kissed me, and after an hour of attending to my needs, he set me on his bed again. When he lowered himself between my legs, it was with an ease and gentleness he had never shown before. I felt so completely open and raw in a way that I’d never experienced.

“What are your greatest fears, Cami? Tell me your dreams, baby.”

I loved that he was coaxing me to open up because that meant he had to reciprocate, right?

My voice was soft, yet raw when I spoke. I cleared my throat a couple of times before I answered him. “That no one will love me with my deep flaws. Also, I’m afraid of opening up and connecting with someone only to be rejected.”

“Is that why you’re always pressing me about opening up to you?”

I nodded.

“Tell me your dreams.”

“I want to grow my magazine to become nationally syndicated. Jabari, I really care about you.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to share that at the moment, but I couldn’t hold it in.

He rubbed my back. “Don’t let me down, Cami. I don’t trust anyone because people always stab you in the back, and that includes parents. Just like you’ve got issues with yours, I have issues with my dad. We have an estranged relationship because that muthafucka doesn’t know the meaning of loyalty.”

“What happened?”

“That’s in the past,” he muttered and sighed.

I couldn’t push him, not when he finally decided to open up on his own. I was glad he shared as much as he had. After all we had just shared, I knew that I was falling for him, and I wanted more than what we were doing. As attentive as he was to me, I believed that I could have something real for the first time.

14 – JABARI