Page 183 of Ghost Ribbon

“I’ll give you some time,” he said, and the door closed softly behind him.

I turned my head on the pillow and looked at Alexei. He hadn’t moved. Still on his knees on the cold hospital floor, one hand wrapped carefully around mine, as if the contact alone was the only thing tethering him to the earth.

“Why are you on the floor?”

He swallowed. The motion traveled down the long line of his throat. “I just… felt like I shouldn’t stand above you.”

I blinked slowly.

The guilt in him was a living thing. I could see it coiled behind his eyes. He still blamed himself. Perhaps he believed his presence had somehow poisoned the heart I used to have. I sighed. “You don’t belong on your knees, Morozov.”

The teasing edge in my voice was gentle but it was there. A small attempt to pull him back toward the light.

A smile touched his mouth. “I do,. In front of you I’ll kneel forever if I have to.”

I sighed again, softer this time. “Come up here.”

He obeyed. He rose from the floor and I tapped the narrow edge of the mattress with my fingers. “I want you to hold me.”

Alexei’s gaze flicked over the constellation of wires and tubes that connected me to the machines and concern darkened his expression.

“I don’t want to move anything around.”

I shook my head against the pillow. “Please.”

That single word was all it took. The mattress dipped under his weight as he eased onto the bed beside me, mindful of every wire, then his arms came around me and he drew me against his chest.

I let my head rest over the beat of his heart.

“It’s okay. I’m here now.” And I meant it with everything left inside me. I never wanted to leave him again. If I could keep him in my arms and shield him forever, I would.

I would spend the rest of my life making sure he never had to hurt like that again.

I don’t ever want to see tears in those beautiful eyes. They’ve endured enough darkness. I want them filled with light.

Chapter 46 - Alexei

The feeling I had when they said it went well was indescribable.

No, that isn’t true. It wasn’t indescribable. I could describe it very well if I wanted to. It felt like someone had been strangling me from the inside for days and finally loosened their grip.

I could breathe again.

When the surgeon stepped out and said the it went well, something in my body finally gave up the fight it had been fighting since Marco collapsed.

It went well.

It went well.

I think if he had said anything else, I would have torn the hospital down with my bare hands.

When they let me see him afterward, when I held him in my arms again, I have never felt happier.

That sounds too clean for what it really was. Happiness is too simple a word. It was relief so violent it made me dizzy. It was gratitude so deep it nearly humiliated me. It was the feeling of having your entire soul dragged back into your body.

My baby was back.

The others were happy too.