Page 177 of Ghost Ribbon

Yesterday, after I made my choice, I asked Ilya to send me a file with every person in the city who had signed for organ donation upon their death.

Ilya sent me a long list.

It’s not like he didn’t know why I was asking for it. He did, but he still sent it, and I killed them all in one night.

I didn’t know if they were good or bad people. I’m not going to pretend I evaluated their moral character or the truth of what I had done.

It made no difference to me.

Good or bad. Kind or cruel. Loved or alone.

I needed a heart and I would do everything in my power to get one.

One will be compatible.

I didn’t know which of the one hundred and forty-seven would be a match.

I didn’t know if any of them would be a match.

But I knew that the probability of finding a compatible heart increased with every person I killed, and that if one hundred and forty-seven wasn’t enough, if none of them matched, then I would kill more.

There is always more.

I would find a heart.

If it took one hundred and forty-seven, I would kill one hundred and forty-seven.

If it took three hundred, I would kill three hundred.

If it took a thousand, I would kill a thousand.

I wouldn’t stop until I found one.

“We managed to keep their mouths shut and keep the cameras that caught you away from the public.”

Dimitri was still speaking but I could barely hear him properly. “But several organizations are aware of it. They are raging, Alexei. You brought an immense amount of attention upon all of us.”

Did he think I care?

I didn’t care if every mafia family came after me, which I’m assuming might happen. Don’t get me wrong - no one has a problem if you kill someone in our world, but they don’t want unwanted eyes on them.

But I just needed my star to breathe again.

I needed his lungs to fill with air on their own. I needed his heart to beat without a machine telling it to. I didn’t give a shit about the rest.

Why was no one understanding that?

Why was everyone in my way?

Dimitri sighed. “Alexei,” his voice was softer now. “I’m worried about you.”

That got him an answer. “Why?”

“Why? Because you’re seen as a threat now. The videos may not be leaked, but that doesn’t mean the rest of our organizations are pleased to have a criminal on the loose. Nearly one hundred and fifty people, Alexei.” He paused. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m finding a heart.”

He pressed his lips together. “Alexei.”