Page 38 of Take Me Away

‘Jude?’ I laugh. ‘He’d eat you alive. Or you him. And I’m not sure what’s worse.’

‘Promises, promises. I can’t believe you’ve never told me how exceptionally fine his older brother is. Was he really your summer fling?’

‘We were friends, kids.’

‘Babe, people who were just kids together do not have the sizzling chemistry that was zapping between the two of you at the café the other day.’

‘There was nothing zapping anywhere.’

One of her perfectly arched eyebrows lifts again. ‘I reckon the force of that chemistry could have been felt out in the North Sea.’ She scrunches her face and points in the direction of the front door and the lane that leads down to the harbour. ‘That is the North Sea, right?’

‘Atlantic, but good try.’

I grin at her, and the motion feels almost natural on my face. Until her expression turns serious, hand reaching for mine and giving it a squeeze. ‘You know you can’t hide here forever, right? The Winter Brothers are getting antsy about your statement. You have to make one, Isla. Work out what it is you want to say, and say it.’

I pull on the wellies. They’re a size too big, but with thick socks, they’ll do. ‘I’m not hiding. I’m regrouping. And it’s not that easy. I don’t want everyone thinking I’m weak. Still some little girl who can be taken advantage of. At the moment I don’t have the strength to tell the truth and stand strong while I do it.’

She stares at me, pensive. Thoughtful.

I haven’t even told Piper the whole truth.

Truth is a complicated thing when you start peeling back the layers.

‘That’s what Richard is for. Remember, you hired him for crisis management and so far, you haven’t really let him manage anything.’

I scrub at my face and Piper winces as my skin gets pulled beneath my fingertips. She’ll be booking me in for more Botox soon.

‘Because he wants me to carry on, pretend that I’m above all of this, when the truth is, Piper, I’m not.’ I pull my hair up from my neck and slide it through an elastic. ‘I feel exposed. Weak. Silly. Naive. How am I supposed to walk around London, New York, anywhere, acting like I’m above it all?’

Piper’s lips flatten. ‘Babe, this is hurting all my feminist instincts too, but Hollywood, my love, it’s not built that way.’

I nod but I’ve run out of things to say. All I’ve got is this aching emptiness.

Piper stares at me, but her phone buzzes before she can argue further. ‘That’s my car. Are you sure you don’t want to come back with me? Hot showers with actual water pressure. Restaurants that serve more than fish and chips.’

‘I’m good here.’

She eyes the chipped teacup in my hand, then the cottage itself, and frowns faintly.

‘How long are you planning on staying?’

This is the question I don’t want to answer. Can’t answer. ‘I don’t know.’

She sighs, ‘I’ll try and see what I can do, with Richard’s help. I just—’ She hesitates, which is very unlike her. ‘I just think this could all go horribly wrong and I want to help you. Really want to help you.’

I reach for her, lean down and give her a hug. She stiffens, but that’s Piper, all sharp edges but underneath is a heart of gold. ‘I know you do. And I’ll let you. But can I just pause to breathe first before I face whatever comes next? Pretty please.’

‘Okay, okay. What are we talking here? A week? Two weeks?’

I shrug, and it’s a bit helpless.

‘Fine.’ She shuts her laptop with a snap. ‘Just answer my calls. Promise you’ll answer my calls.’

‘I promise.’

After she leaves, the cottage feels both emptier and somehow more mine. I pull on an old jumper of Maggie’s I found in the wardrobe, thick wool that smells of mothballs and faintly of her lavender soap. With the wellies and my oldest jeans, I look nothing like the woman who graced the cover of Vanity Fair eight months ago.

I look like no one at all.