Page 81 of How We Began

7th February

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“I don’t understand. Have I done something wrong?”

“No, not at all. I just feel that I have moved on, I can’t offer you as much commitment as you deserve and you do deserve it, you truly do. I just can’t give you what you need.”

“But I’ll miss you.”

“I know, and I’ll miss you, too, but I need to move on and let this all go.”

James Mr. Hot Bod Gym Instructor stared at me, deciding that the battle of the gym membership had been lost. He’d even tried twitching his pecs and everything. I wasn’t backing down.

“Okay, Lilah, but you’ll only get half of your money back.”

I think he also wanted to add that I’d also never look good in Lycra. That’s okay, I can live with that. I’ll just never wear Lycra.

“That is absolutely fine with me,” I assured him. Outside on the sweet smelling air of fitness freedom I grabbed my phone.

Me: I am free! I am free! Come and meet me for chips and wine! X

Meredith: Thank Christ for that!!! C U in 15 ;-)

Just like that, I gave up on all my New Year’s resolutions. And it was bloody great.

(9.30 p.m.)

(The pub that smells of old farts.)

“Shcan yous shmpromish shtoo neves beez shealthy shgain.”

“I wills shnever beem shealthly shgain. Shmpromish.”

“Dids yous Shart?”

“Shozzy.”

8th February

(8.30 a.m.)

Oh my head.

Embarrassing wake-up this morning. I was conscious for about fifteen minutes before I was able to open my eyes due to an extreme searing pain in my right temple lobe.

When I submitted to the pain and opened my eyes I was greeted with…

“Uhhh. What are you doing in here?”

Ben in navy perched on the edge of my bed, looking fresh and lovely. Ugh. “Good morning, Delilah.”

“Mornin’.”

I couldn’t even scrunch my face my head hurt so much.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” The blues twinkled and crinkled.

“Uhhh. Was it bad?”