Page 140 of How We Began

“Well, I hope it will not be too long, my dear. I think it is time to see my Charlie again.”

I stared at her for a moment, acutely aware of the massive lump instantly forming in my throat.

“Obviously, Charlie is my King Charles spaniel and not my daft husband.” She let out a roar of laughter.

I laughed as well. “I would love it, thank you. So long as you’re sure.”

“You can write your book there,” she said, giving me a knowing wink.

“What? What book?”

She just shrugged and wondered off.

I’m currently snuggled up next to Ben, pretending to take notes from textbooks we need to read before class. When I got back from Mrs M’s I told him what I had been up to. He smiled at me before giving me a kiss, which made packing boxes for the afternoon completely worth it.

“I can imagine you sitting at that desk, sloshing red wine everywhere. It’s a good image.”

I want to tell him that I like the image, too, but I would prefer it if he was in it as well.

28th April

It was a slooooooow day in the word of selling musical instruments. Very slow.

I refused another eating binge like the other day so Big Baz tried to teach me how to play poker instead. I’m not very good. Apparently my poker face isn’t that convincing. I’m going to have to work on that.

“Shall I bring in tiddly winks next week?” he asked as he swept up the mountain of matchsticks he’d won.

“Ha, bloody, ha, Baz. You wait. I’m just luring you into a false sense of security.”

I attempted a bluff, one that he didn’t take seriously judging by the chuckles that shook his massive frame. I failed at silencing him with my best stink eye.

“Oh, you’re not here next week, are you?” he asked.

“Aren’t I?”

“No, you’re moving into your new place, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

Oh, yes. It’s happening, isn’t it? Tristan and I will be moving our stuff in next week. Then Meredith will move hers in after the last exam, after Ben has left.

“You okay, Lilah?”

“Pardon? What? Uh, yeah.”

“You’ve gone a bit green.”

I looked at him, and he looked at me.

“Go home, Lilah. I can close up.”

I leant in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Baz.”

I rushed home to the life that I really don’t want to end.

29th April

“Dharrling, Daddy and I have bought a new lounge suite. Would you like our old one?”