Page 108 of How We Began

“Bit rude, Delilah. Those men offered to sacrifice themselves for us.”

“No. Oh, shut up and let me finish. I hate it because it makes me so sad. I can’t bear it.”

He dropped his smile, his gaze bright as he swept over me. “Go on.”

“So what if we look at not at war itself, but rather how a nation deals with its grief afterwards. How it immortalizes its dead?”

Ben nodded slowly while I waited, the pounding rush of my blood finally slowing down. “And you came up with that while jogging?”

“Yeah, sorry, I shouldn’t have barged in.”

“Nope.” His smile grew and I became breathless for a hundred other reasons. “I really like it, Lilah.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

I stood rooted to the spot until I remembered I was in his room, a place I didn’t hang out that much anymore.

“Cool. I’ll see ya then.”

“Yep, see ya.”

I wish I didn’t feel a little bit deflated that he didn’t want to immediately work on the project, but I do. I really do.

Going to text Mer and see if she wants to do something. Some moderated fun will do me some good.

8th March

(7.30 a.m.)

Moderation is not my strongest suit.

— 3 bars of Cadbury Whole Nut (the small ones, not the family-sized bars)

— 2 bottles of red

Now I’ve got a red wine headache again.

“What we celebrating?” Meredith asked as she landed on my bed with a thump that spilled my wine.

“Me,” I replied, sparking a big grin on her face. “I’ve come up with an idea for the group project all by myself.”

“What, not Ben?”

“No. Me. I did it.”

“What is it? We still don’t have one.”

“Nope not a chance. You might be my best friend and sister from another mister. But no.”

“Bitch.” She reached under the bed to get a glass from my secret stash of glassware and poured herself some wine. “I’m going to come up with something better.”

I laughed. “Not this time.”

Beth joined us—clutching her own bottle, thankfully—still looking incredibly pretty without all the black makeup. She’s still not talking to Eva, and Meredith and I had to concede that her dating dilemma is a quagmire of landmines waiting to explode.

We then discussed (in whispered tones because we could hear Ben playing guitar next door) in great detail the Lilah and Ben dinner at the local curry house. The general consensus seemed to be that although there was no kissing or physical interaction of any kind apart from holding hands, the evening was still borderline date material.