Page 67 of The Last Kiss

I think.

After some pretty swift administration with a hairbrush, a wet flannel, and some serious wrestling into cotton, I take the birthday girl downstairs where she is applauded like a duchess. “Remember the ice-cream,” I whisper in her ear before she scampers around the kitchen island to twirl for Liv.

“Biggest bowl ever.” She motions a massive circle with her arms, and I cringe. I don’t think there will be that much bribery ice-cream in the house.

“Want your present, princess?” My eyes flit to Henri who’s stood looking various levels of sexy with a glass of red loosely gripped in his fingers. Somehow, he makes holding a glass sexy. Now that is a life skill and make no mistake about it. Liv’s friends, Hailey and Charlie, are staring at him with no regard for manners, while Rachel is trying very hard not to look because Peter is standing right at her side. Instead, her face looks contorted mid-aneurysm. “Everyone met Henri?” I grin and I’m met by nods.

“So, what do you do again?” Peter asks, puffing his chest. Bless him for trying.

“My family own a cheese business.” Henri smiles and takes a sip of his drink, shoulders relaxed.

I’m still sure cheese is code for mafia.

“Oh, I love cheese,” blurts Hailey.

“Hey, I thought you were vegan,” Charlie shoots at her but then cracks a grin. “It’s okay. I’ve heard the cheeseburger rumours.”

“And what do you do in London?” Liv asks. Interrogation 101—don’t let the victim relax for one moment. His gaze flicks to me and my cheeks warm. I’m what he does when he comes to London.

“Any chance of a glass of wine,” I mutter to myself getting zero response.

“I visit restaurants who purchase direct from us. We are a very innovative business and when our clients have ideas we like to try and build on them.”

“But cheese is cheese right?” Peter asserts.

Henri flashes his best enigmatic smile. “Indeed, it is.”

Definite mafia.

“So, petite princess.” Henri turns to Paige. “Is your aunty giving you your present?”

Oh crap, yes.

“Here you go, munchkin.” I hand her over the gifts that Henri helped me buy just yesterday afternoon. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Imagine if you could live a lifetime in every day.

I’d probably do anything for that right now.

Henri squats down next to where Paige is savagely ripping at paper. “Here, pull this bit.” He helps her and a large lump forms in my throat as he ducks his head down.

To live a lifetime in one day… maybe that’s all I’ve got now.

One day at a time, each one as full as possible.

Seeing Henri crouched with Paige, his face animated as she wrestles the correctly sized Hamleys bear out of the paper along with various books, pyjamas, and a tiara that Henri insisted on, I feel the source of my life ebbing away from me.

I will never have this.

Never have birthday parties for my children.

Never watch their father interact with them.

All too soon I’m mourning a life I’ve forgotten to live and the evidence of that is six-foot-four with a dazzling smile who’s currently talking to my niece like she’s the most important person in the room, possibly the planet.

God, I’ve been a fool.

A total fool.