Page 99 of The Last Kiss

All the thoughts of end-of-life care slip away as I consider living in the moment with him at my side.

How can this possibly be the end when all I want is it to be our beginning?

He hangs up, sitting on the sand, tan legs bent, my phone gently cradled in his grasp. I get up, ignoring the rush of blood to my head, the black spots that tell me I should lay down a little longer, and press myself against his broad back.

“How many steps to the sea?” I whisper in his ear, lips brushing his sun-warmed skin.

“Climb on.”

25

Truths by candlelight

Despite only travelling in Henri’s car with the hood down to the beach, then lying on the sand, when we get back at five I fall face first on the bed, feeling Henri staring at me. “I’ll cancel dinner,” he murmurs as he tugs the thick curtains shut.

“No, I’ll be fine.” It’s a lie right now, but I’ll make it happen.

From his spot at the curtains, he turns and analyses me. “Julia, just sleep. I’ll get the kitchen to make us something light for supper and we can eat on the patio here.”

“No!” I’m talking into the darkness of my now closed eyelids. I can’t keep them open. In the back of my mind, I’ve got a vague thought that there is no way I’d be able to feel like this at work. It would be me fucking up the print run, not Rebecca, and I would literally rather die than let that be the case. Along with this thought is another, far darker, that I will need to tell Rebecca I won’t be coming back.

I can feel it now.

Henri explodes forward and I strain to look at him. “For fuck’s sake, what is happening here?” Falling to the mattress, he clutches my hand and lifts it to his mouth, brushing his lips across the surface.

“I’m just tired.”

Satirical Weekly, I wish you a fond farewell, but I think our love affair is over.

A gentle tug at my sandals brings me back from my scattered thoughts and I dig deep to sit up a little, finding Henri pulling off my sandals. “Too… tired… for that.” I shoot him a sleepy wink. Mainly because I’ve been orgasmed out at the beach. Hell, if this is living, I’ve been doing it bloody wrong. Let that fact be written as a lesson for other women the world over.

“I’m chivalrous, remember, Julianna, not an animal.”

To my surprise he kicks off his sliders and brushes the sand from his glorious calves—which reminds me I must remember to ask him how he keeps his body like that before I leave—and climbs into bed beside me, spooning me tight in his arms like a precious silver teaspoon from the fanciest of cutlery canteens.

“Don’t you have to… check the herd?” I’m pretty sure he mentioned that on the way home. The cocoon of his embrace pulls me under, makes my exhausted body leech what little juice I have left.

His silence meets my questions, his arms tight, fingers brushing the hair from my face. “Shh.”

I can see the end. It’s a bright warmth that is tugging me along, one chink at the time. If I was to go now, would I be happy? Satisfied with the life I’ve now lived? Five months of startling existence to counter a world of grey.

Yeah, I’d be happy.

Despite the lack of space in my chest, the shallow breath I fight to hide, my heart is glowing with the heat of the sun.

“I’m so glad I met you,” I whisper into the shadowy haze.

His arms tighten a notch. “I’m never letting you go. You’re magic, ma petite. Magic that makes my heart sing.”

Tears sting my eyes. “Henri, can you get my phone?”

He groans into my neck. “For you, anything.” Despite his reticence he peels himself away from me and pads over barefoot to my straw holiday bag, fishing out my phone and then pacing back, slipping back under the covers still dressed like me. I take my offered phone, quickly clicking on messages and shooting one to Liv.

I love you. Kiss Paige and Lenny for me.

I almost don’t wait to see what her dancing dots are going to say.

Don’t you dare. Don’t you bloody dare.