Page 68 of The Other Side of Green

“I don’t know if I can see him.”

Eva grasped my face, leaning in until we were almost nose to nose. “See him. Then come back to Boston. I don’t care what color your skin is. You deserve that scholarship.”

My gaze met Alex’s. He deserved it more. I mean, for starters, he didn’t need a muse to play, not like my twisted headspace.

“I’ll think about it.”

“We leave at eight.”

Eight! But that was hardly any time at all.

“Okay. Try and get past Mom. I’ll find you, ring you.”

They both walked out the bedroom door leaving me to face the window. Gulping in a deep breath of air, I went to open the window, only to shriek and step back when a dark shape already sat on the sill. How did he do that? How had he not grown out of scaling drainpipes and balancing on sills?

Why did I still love the fact he still did those things?

Stupid Lyra, stupid brain.

With shaking hands, I pushed the window up. Silently, he dropped his feet onto the floor and landed with a solid bump on the floor that made my heart bump.

“I’m not your brother, Lyra.” Those dirty greens I had always loved so much shone with determination.

“Jack, I don’t think it’s us who gets to decide.”

I jumped as he grabbed my hand, lifting it and pressing his lips into the skin of my palm. “There is no way on this earth that I’m your brother.”

I tried to untangle my hand, but he held it tight. “You can’t say that, can’t make statements that aren’t true.”

“I can. I know it.”

“How do you know it? Right now, all I know is that I know nothing. I mean, I don’t even know who my father is, never even had any idea. I’ve lived my entire life in the dark, and who the hell knows if that woman ever speaks the truth.”

“I know, because I’d feel it here.” He turned my palm, pressing it against his chest, his heart giving a ragged beat beneath the pressure of my hand. My breath caught. “Instead, I just know you are the only woman I’ve ever loved; well apart from my mom.” He shot me a shy smile and my poor heart almost imploded, aching with every pathetic pound.

“Oh my god, Jack. You might feel that way because you’re my brother.”

With the hand not holding mine to his chest, he tilted my chin, holding it firm so I’d meet his gaze. The intense pools pulled me closer, made me want to dive in and never resurface. “Never.”

My eyes stung and I blinked, trying to deter the treacherous tears. I couldn’t be weak now. I had to be strong. Had to be. Against my will a tear dropped, and then another, until my shoulders shook and Jack pulled me tight in his arms, the one place I wanted to be, the one place I shouldn’t. His hand smoothed the back of my head and down my curls. For four years I’d lived without that sensation. I didn’t know how to live in a life where I no longer got to feel that. “I’m sorry I ran. I didn’t know what to do.”

His arms tightened and I breathed in the scent of his T-shirt, inhaling it deep in my lungs. I loved Jack in a T-shirt and worn jeans. He was all Blue, a man I never thought I’d see again.

“I know. You should have come to me. I said I would always protect you, always put you first.”

“But we’ve ruined you, taken everything from you. What Luca did… making you leave...”

I pulled back to stare at his face, watching it harden. “I don’t know why he didn’t tell us all along,” I added.

“I don’t know, Lyra, but I intend to find out.”

“Please don’t fight again.”

He shrugged, pulling me close and pressing a kiss to the top of my head. His silence meant he couldn’t promise.

“Maybe I could live with you being my brother if you still held me like this.”

“I’m not holding you like a brother, Lyra. I just don’t believe it. What would Grams say if she was here right now?”