Page 86 of When We Are Old

“Ring me. I’d like to speak to you properly.”

“Sure. I will.” I turned so my shoulder was facing Hannah. “We might stay another week.”

Ange howled with laughter, making everyone look at her again. She patted her hair into place and straightened herself up. “Have you told your mummy yet?”

“Well, no.”

Ange shook her head and then leant in to glance a kiss off my cheek. “You are crazy, you know that?”

I smiled and pushed back, but with the new eyes I saw her with since I’d realised what she’d done all these years ago, I wondered if it may be her that was crazy and not me.

“I know, I know.” I cringed at my response. Good old Ronnie returning to form.

“Come on, Hannah, we need to get back.”

“Something exciting planned?”

“Date night.”

“Date night with three kids? Hannah can stay with me if you like, now I’m actually close enough to hand to help out again.”

Hannah’s face lit up like Christmas, but I hesitated. “Can I, Mum?”

“Aw, Hannah, I think Ewan and Jack will be waiting for you.”

Ange’s shoulders dropped and guilt stabbed deep in my stomach. Because I was a wimp, and hated hurting people I mouthed, “Next week,” to her as I grabbed my bag. She nodded, but she knew I lied.

“Come on, Han, let’s go.” And with very little joy, knowing I’d be dragging a sulking fourteen-year-old home with me, I turned to my date night.

Turned out I didn’t have to worry about it. When I knocked on Matthew’s lavender front door there were loud shouts coming from the other side.

Hannah and I cast worried looks at one another. “Maybe Scots do dates differently?” Hannah said.

Her joke barely filtered into my brain.

I recognised the second voice, had held onto it for far too long. Julie.

She’d always spoken like the whole world was listening to her, booming her opinions into the space of my silence. Now I knew who her dad was, Craig McStandish, it made complete sense.

I hadn’t heard her speak in fifteen years, but her tone still drilled into my bones.

“It’s a holiday, the kids deserve it,” she screeched.

“No, Julie. Not like this they don’t. You know I can’t go with you anywhere and it’s not fair for you to ask them.” Matthew spoke with the hardened snap of the businessman in the suit.

“Please, Daddy. Please, just for a couple of days.” I recognised Jack and with his pleading I guessed what they were arguing about. Julie wanted them to go away, together, all of them.

Did divorced couples do that?

My heart sank. If we went in now it would make it worse. Would fire up Julie, would make Matthew even more frazzled.

“Mum?” Hannah elbowed me, but I stood rooted to the spot. I wanted so much to breeze in and stand by Matthew’s side, but the old fear of being wrong wrapped its vines of uncertainty around my feet and held me back.

I didn’t know what would be right.

What would be wrong.

Matthew was having a row with his ex-wife, the mother of his children. It wasn’t my place to argue with that.