Page 71 of When We Are Old
I shivered as Matthew leaned close and kissed a delicate press of his lips under my ear. “I’m learning things about you, Veronica.”
I twisted so I could meet his gaze. “And I’ve been learning things about you too.”
He smiled and it made my heart flutter with the unfurling of butterfly wings. “So.” He turned and spoke louder to the room. “Me, the lads, and Hannah had a chat this morning.”
“Oh yes?”
The butterflies halted their maiden launch.
“Aye, and we’ve said we know this is all quick. Maybe if the circumstances were different we all would have gone out for dinner, met at the park, I don’t know. Done this whole get-to-know-you thing in a conservative manner. But the truth is, circumstances aren’t normal. We’ve got a week until you go again. I’ve got a week with the boys. We’ve had a vote and the result was we make this the best week ever.”
The butterflies were off. Soaring and banking in the wind.
“So, Veronica Childs, whatever you have been used to before.” He shot a small smile at Hannah. And she nibbled her bottom lip, her focus on my face. “Whatever I’ve been used to. It starts again here. Okay?”
“You’re making it sound very easy.”
I squealed as Matthew reached for my face and caught it in his cool grasp, making my lips pout like a fish as he held me still.
“Brave. Together.”
I nodded as much as I could and he smiled, kissing my mouth.
“Okay, boys, let’s eat up and then tidy away quick. Then we can move the furniture around.”
“What?” I’d just taken a sip of coffee and it threatened to come back up again. “What do you mean?”
“We’ve decided Hannah needs a room. Jack and Ewan are going to bunk up.” Matthew waved his hand like this was a mere trifle on a Saturday morning. I thought about their beautiful rooms, each decorated uniquely for them.
“Oh, no. Really that’s not necessary at all. I promise, please don’t.”
Matthew completely ignored me. Well if he heard me, he didn’t pay me any mind. “Right. Carlings, let’s go.”
He squeezed my shoulder as he got back up from the table, momentarily wiping my memory of my horror at kids having to share a room because of us, with the scrunch of his delicious back muscles.
“Dad?” Jack blinked up at Matthew as he stood and brushed crumbs off his pyjamas and all over the floor. “Shall we get Hugo? He hates being at Grandma and Grandpa’s. We could get him today?”
Matthew shot me a sharp glance. “Don’t you think the five of us of a week is enough? This house is hardly huge.”
He said that, but as I stared around, I didn’t think there could be anywhere more perfect. Warm, cosy, and oozing a comfort that felt alien to me.
Until Jack and Ewan both tried to wedge themselves through the door at once. Matthew and I watched them as they negotiated the simple act of walking out of rooms.
“I worry for them, I truly do.” Matthew grinned at me.
“They seem okay?” I tried to read the ordnance survey map that was his face; each line, pinch of skin, telling me things I wasn’t sure he would.
Matthew had depression. I saw the signs so clearly now. I could only wonder how long I’d missed them all before.
Every mistake we had laid between us, every turn and slight of our history morphed into a new shape in light of this new knowledge.
A deep hurt settled in my stomach that he’d never spoken of the shadows that had chased him. But then, I could hardly talk—literally.
“They’re fine.” Reaching a large hand for me he rubbed it up my arm. “Ronnie, I’m sorry I behaved so appallingly. Julie…” Pain scored across his face and my chest squeezed. “She always knows the words to say.”
“Yeah, well. So do I now.” I grinned. Hilarious that I had now become the one with the capacity of speech—after two telephone consultations… Definitely cured. “Get the dog, Matthew. Hell, if we’ve managed to convince three kids that we should all live together for the week, I really can’t see what difference a dog will make.”
“Yes!” Hannah gave a fist pump—truly I’d forgotten she was even there. A fact she well knew because she stuck her tongue out at me. “I’m going to go and get dressed.”
