Page 59 of When We Are Old

“Matthew.” I hated her saying my name like that. “Are you telling me I don’t know our son?”

“No. I’m saying you’re a conniving bitch and you're playing me.”

“Oh please, don’t give me this. You know I’ve been generous sharing rights with you. I could have said no; with your history it would have been acceptable. No court in the world would say you should have them.”

I kicked at the front mat with its Welcome message in cursive font. “That’s not true. You make me like this, with your games and your twisted head fucks.”

“Matty.”

The sound of Ewan whining in the background cut through. “Where’s my daddy?”

My heart sliced straight in half. “Tell him I’ll be there by bedtime.”

“Did you hear that, Ewan. He’ll be home soon.”

I held in my gasp. She had me on loudspeaker.

She had me there on the word home.

“I can take them to mine, if they miss me so much.” I almost laughed.

“No need. You just make sure you get back.”

I hung up without another word. I couldn’t fight it. I wanted to fall into a deep abyss. She had me again.

I’d never be free—not from her, or her games.

I stared at the red gloss of Ronnie’s front door and for the first time since she’d been back in my life I wondered if I’d made a terrible mistake.

This wasn’t me anymore. Ronnie, she needed so much more than being with a man as weak as me.

When Demons Come Knocking

Ronnie

“I’ve apologised to all the parents personally; the ones I knew.” I tried to sit up straighter, but my spine was disputing the suggestion, preferring to act like a tub of slime kids liked to play with. “I’ve just come to tell you personally so that should any questions arise you know the facts.” That’s better, Ronnie. Be controlled. You’ve done nothing wrong.

“So, you left fourteen-year-old’s unattended?”

“Well.” I scrunched my face and tried not to meet Mr Jewson’s gaze. “We were only down the road. I thought it would be good to give them some space.”

He sucked air in through his teeth. Bet he didn’t do that in front of the kids as it would totally ruin his cool-adult vibe. Knobhead.

“Anyway. There doesn’t seem to be any residual issues.” Residual issues? “I’ve spoken in depth with Hannah and she knows that this mistake can’t be repeated.” She’s also grounded until she’s one hundred and five. “I think maybe your form tutors should be helping the children to understand the dangers of alcohol use.”

Another suck of air.

“We find it better if children aren’t left in close proximity to illegal substances.”

My palms began to sweat but I refused to pay them any heed.

“Perhaps also you could peruse the list of names of the sixth formers who turned up uninvited.” I ignored my use of the word peruse, leaving it to hang between us. “I’m concerned that individuals who are nearly adults came into a party of a minor.”

It was Jewson’s turn to stiffen. I was in full flow, words were actually forming and exiting my mouth in a coherent manner.

It was a win win situation.

Until. “I’ve looked at the list. None of the names are students here.”