Page 22 of When We Are Old

“What?” I asked.

“I’m a jealous kind of guy.”

“You can only be jealous once we’ve been on a date.”

“Oh, is that a rule?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, in that case I plan to get very jealous very soon. You’d better warn Fred his days are numbered.” His voice lifted with a lilt of A-major chord.

“I will. Night, Matthew.”

“Night, Ronnie Roo.” I went to hang up. “Wait,” he called me back.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

His words set me alight and turned me into a storm of ash and hope.

“And I love you.”

I hung up and then pulled the cover straight up over my body, not bothering to take my travelling clothes off. I needed to sleep because then I’d see Matthew again, and right now that was all that would keep me going until next weekend.

Fresh Paint

Matthew

“Oh my god.” I shut the freezer on the smell, trying to hold in my gag. Putrid acid stung my nostrils and I clasped a hand over my mouth. “Ugh, fuck.”

Some bastard had turned off the freezers but hadn’t taken the food out.

I staggered from the meat aisle and worked my way to the safer zone of the former bread aisle—although it wasn’t that safe. Some bagels were trying to mutate into burger buns, or the other way around.

I couldn’t blame them: the staff of Supersaver Foods. Hell, the electricity had probably been turned off. They’d lost their jobs. I’m thinking they didn’t give a shit about rotting meat.

Guilt weighed heavily on my chest and pushed down like a ten-tonne weight.

Matthew Carling, the life wrecker.

I knew that would be a title I’d carry with me to the grave.

First Julie, where I’d lived a lie.

Now I carried thousands of jobs lost on my shoulders.

The front door opened, and I turned to Mam shouldering her way through with shopping bags in each hand. “What the hell is that awful smell?” Shaking my head, I left the relative safety of the bread aisle and stepped over to help.

“The electric has been switched off.”

“Oh my god. Didn’t they empty the freezers?” Ma cast a critical glance at the shop she once used to co-own.

“Uh, no.” I think the noxious smell we both attempted to breathe through should have been answer enough.

Her face creased into a deep frown. “Matt, I really don’t know why you are doing this.”

“You know why,” I replied, my voice gruff and low.