Page 20 of When We Are Old

“She’s got a point.”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

He chuckled and hearing him breathe down the line felt like true magic. Not an illusion or a dream; but rather that real magic lived inside me, giving me everything I’d ever wanted. I had a daughter who seemed to want to talk to me, and I had Matthew. Matthew, he was mine.

“So dating?” He let it dangle.

“Bit hard with four hundred miles between us.”

“Hard, but not impossible.”

The future stretched in front of us like a motorway to the unknown.

“I should get some sleep. I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“You should.”

Neither of us hung up.

“Do you know what Liam is planning?” I asked.

On Monday, the day I thought I’d lost everything. Liam, Matthew’s younger brother, had called me with the prospect of work. Prospects that could keep my team employed. Permanent security for my business dazzled its shiny gilded reward just within my reaching distance.

“No clue. He has his finger in every pie around here.”

“Nice place to have fingers.”

“I’d rather have mine in you.”

I choked on a dribble of saliva as it slipped down my throat. “Matthew Carling!”

“What? I’m stating facts here.”

I waved my fingers at my face, a useless fan against the delicate heat of my desire.

“Bet you want me now.”

With a shake of my head I gripped the phone tighter. “I always want you.”

“Muuum, I can hear you!” Hannah’s shrill shout cut through the room and Matthew chuckled.

“I’ve gotta be honest, Ronnie. I have no idea what dating with children hanging around is like.”

“So you haven’t dated anyone since Julie?” I hesitated over her name, hating the way it stung like a droplet of acid on my tongue. The woman who’d had him all these years when I should have, sat right at the top of my hate list. Blocking her, I parked her up in the back of my head. She was his past now and him and I were cruising down that brand-new motorway leaving the wasteland of our old lives far behind.

“No.”

I leant up onto my elbows. That wasn’t a full answer.

“And you since Paul?”

“Uh, you know the answer to that.”

A satisfied silence stretched across the line. “True.”

“I really do need to go to sleep.” I clutched the phone tighter, almost melting it to my hand.

“So dating huh? Are we talking full board, wine and dine?”