Page 123 of When We Are Old

She peered at me over the edge of her glasses. “Of course, nothing but the best.”

Dr Metcalf shook his head and flicked through Matthew’s notes hanging on the edge of his bed. “Sarah will be with you this morning. As soon as we see him responding to the withdrawal of sedatives, we will ask you to leave the room so we can remove the ventilator. It can cause some distress if the patient wakes and it’s still in place.”

I squeezed Matthew’s hand tighter. The thought of leaving while he came around made my skin chill with prickles of sweat.

“In the meantime, keep talking to him. The more conscious he becomes, the more he will be in a dream state.”

Lynn stood up and peered over Matthew. “Right, wake up. You’ve got a delivery of organic produce coming this afternoon and I’ve no idea where to put it.”

I snorted a laugh and settled back in my chair, ready and willing to wait it out until my Matthew came back to me again.

At half one he squeezed my hand, his fingers gripping mine until I put my head down on the bed next to his side and wept a great sweeping tide of relieved tears.

“Please don’t ever leave me,” I whispered, to which he squeezed my fingers again and I knew that no matter what came next, what the world and life had to throw at us, I would always be with him, always the two of us together until death finally did do us part. But it wouldn’t be a demented ex-wife in a Range Rover who would separate us, it would be fate itself.

Because Matthew was mine and I was his and nothing could tear us apart.

“I’ve been waiting two bloody weeks to tell you I’m having your baby.” Tears rolled down my face, splashing onto the bed and creating puddles of relief on white cotton.

His hand turned, palm up, and I slid mine into his, melding us together, forever.

Two Months Later

Matthew

“So that’s it then?” Ryan studied the piece of paper containing my future.

“Yep, I’m going back.”

“And Ronnie still doesn’t know?” He shook his head. “How Ruth and Lennie haven’t spilled their guts over this one is beyond me. You’re going to be the oldest student on campus, and that’s not even thinking about the lack of sleep when the baby arrives.”

I chuckled and glanced through the windscreen at the bright blue August sky. Even in Scotland the air rushed with a warm breeze, tantalising all the many things that were on the cusp of changing. “I only ever wanted to be an art teacher. If I don’t do it now, then when will I?”

I folded the acceptance letter which confirmed I’d been accepted back into Kingston University and put it into my back pocket, where it would stay until I could share it with Ronnie.

I stretched my leg, the familiar aching pain twingeing and making my face fold in a wince.

“Still bad?” Ryan eyed my stretched leg.

“Getting better.” I nodded, but rather to myself. Simon, my physio, was a psychotic bastard; but he’d done what I'd asked, pushed me hard and made me get better within the quickest timeframe possible. That I could walk seemed almost a miracle to me.

That I lived to see my boys. Ronnie. Hannah, Mam. I swallowed down hard, forcing the grey clouds out of my mind. They didn’t belong on a sunny day like today.

“We were busy yesterday. Those wild strawberries from Bennet and Son’s went in an hour.

“That’s good.”

Ryan cocked a crooked grin. “You really don’t care, do you?”

My own lips curved. “I really don’t. I’m glad you’re enjoying it though.”

“Who thought I’d end up being a grocer like Dad?”

I nudged him playfully with my fist. “Just like Dad. The green and gold suits you.” I stared thoughtfully out of the window again. “I’m glad it’s staying in the family. It’s nice seeing Beth and the cousins all playing out the back the way we used to.”

“But you’re still moving to London?” A rush of adrenaline kicked me in the guts with his words and my grin stretched wide and obscene across my face.

“Yep.”