Page 114 of When We Are Old
“How do you manage to make it look so unappetising?”
He shot her a glare. “Well I’m sorry I’m not so skilled at mushing banana as you.” He bashed at the bowl some more. “Beth!” He shouted. “Pudding’s ready.”
Hannah came in, carrying Beth on her hip and my heart stuttered in my chest, squeezing hard. “I can feed her.” She held a hand out for the bowl.
“Thank fuck. That looked like sick.” Ryan thrust everything at Hannah who sang loudly to cover up Ryan’s language.
“Right, food will be here in half an hour.” Liam came and kissed my cheek. “McDougall is happier this week. You ready to meet another client next week?”
“It will be Fred, he’s senior management now.” I didn’t add that I couldn’t be arsed because literally one more thing on my plate would tip me over the edge.
Lynn watched me carefully. “How’s the house hunting going, Ronnie?” She pulled out the same chair I’d sat on during my first visit to her house, and I realised that I’d been designated a space at her table. I sank into it, claiming it with a steady exhalation of breath.
“Badly.” I winced and tried not to make eye contact. Kind of hard with everyone staring at me.
Lennie slid me a glass of wine, but I didn’t bother to touch it. I doubted anyone would notice. How anyone noticed anything with this constant chatter going on would never cease to amaze me. Somehow three different full conversations would go on at once with everyone involved in each one. I definitely didn’t have that life skill—hardly a surprise.
“What happened to the party?” Lynn buttered slices of white bread with about an inch of butter per slice.
“Boys is what happened.”
Ruth cut off her conversation. “Oh no. Not that Jackson boy?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I think so. A friendship gone bad, I believe.”
“I’m not looking forward to the teenage years.” She gulped a sip of wine. “Lennie, won’t it be awful?”
“No chance of having any boys around Beth.” Ryan growled.
“Oh, don’t be such a stupid oaf.” Lennie punched him in the stomach from where she was sat, and not lightly.
“I’m just saying, I’ll have my shotgun ready.”
We all laughed at his affronted expression and I nearly accidentally reached for my glass, before reminding myself of the small box that rather urgently needed attention.
Come on, Matthew, for goodness' sake.
“You were lucky with the flights then?” Lynn asked.
“Yeah, apparently not many people want to come to Scotland,” I teased.
Ryan opened his mouth to respond, cut off by the front door ringing. “Bet he’s forgotten his keys again.” He moved for the door. “Aye, don’t all get up at once, I’ll get the door.”
I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I’d soon be able to touch Matthew, kiss him, hold him. Plan an unexpected future with him.
I waited to listen to the sound of the brothers sounding off at one another as they walked back through.
The table grew quiet, an unease settling amongst us.
Ryan walked back in, his eyes wide. Automatically, I clutched at my stomach, a sharp pain twisting deep inside. “Mam, it’s Matthew.” Ryan’s gaze sought mine, shadows in its depths. “He’s had an accident. The police are here.”
Grey Skies
Ronnie
Ironically it was the clock on the wall that kept me sane.
The tick and the tock that chased and tormented, ridiculing me for never doing enough at the right time, kept a constant and almost reassuring presence in the room.
