Page 110 of When We Are Old

“That’s enough. Clearly you can’t be mature.”

I shook my head, my smile wide. “Nope.”

Ma escaped by my phone ringing. “It’s Matthew.” I almost pounced on it, so desperate to hear his voice. My soul needed the majors and minors like it needed good karma and world peace.

“Hey?” I answered breathlessly.

“Why do you sound like you’re running?” I could sense his smile and it made my insides warm.

“Just spending quality time with my mother.” I poked my tongue out at her as I got up from my chair. “Are you on your way to the airport?”

A little kick of adrenaline spiked my heartbeat.

“Ronnie…” The way he said my name made my stomach clench.

“You aren’t coming.”

“Julie’s dropped Jack off at my mams.”

“But it’s not your weekend?”

“I know. She’s manipulating me, making sure I can’t get away.”

“Fucking bitch,” I muttered, earning another one of Ma’s hard glares. I shrugged a ‘whatever’ and turned my back. Taking a deep breath, I caged my disappointment. “Not to worry. I’ll see you next week.”

Another week.

My eyes stung and I blinked hard.

“I’m sorry, Ronnie, but I can’t leave them. It’s not fair.”

“I know. I wouldn’t ask you to.” I firmed up my tone. I didn’t want him feeling guilty for something he couldn’t control. “I just miss you.”

I did. It ached inside of me, stretching like a mist across all my thoughts and actions. Time felt like treading water waiting to see him again.

All these damn years, but still so much stood between us.

“I love you, Ronnie.”

“I know.” I blinked and wiped at a stray tear.

“Are you crying?” His majors tightened.

“No.” I sniffed though and gave the game away.

“Oh, Ronnie.”

“It’s okay. I just had something I needed to tell you.”

“You can tell me now.” My stomach clenched at his low tone.

I almost did. It nearly slipped out, but I held on. “It’s okay. It can wait another week.”

“Sure?”

I almost groaned out loud at the low rumble of his voice. “Yes.”

“I am sorry, Ronnie.”