Page 86 of If We Were Young

“Life.”

Tears trickled down my lashes, running across the hot skin of my cheeks.

“I’m sorry I make you cry.”

“It’s not you. It’s all me. It’s always been me. I’m not brave enough to ask for the things I want. Not brave enough to speak up.”

“What do you want, Ronnie?”

“You.” The word heaved from my chest, painful and desperate. I slid into those three letters as they unravelled themselves. “Just you.”

His lips touched mine and I wanted to die. Had died, maybe. The tang from my tears slipped into my mouth as I gasped at his kiss.

We were going to do this again. The other night it had ended in emptiness.

His hands rose and cupped my cheek, cradling me within his touch. His gaze held mine and his fingers slipped along my hair, brushing gently, caressing and soft.

My breath came out as a ragged gasp. Half hitched, it laboured free from my lungs as he tilted his head towards mine, his gaze never breaking.

Slow and deliberate, we brushed against one another, testing and tasting. He tanged of warm lips, and salt and vinegar crisps. His lips were a little dry from the salt. I ran my tongue along them, thrilled at the small moan in his throat.

His body hardened next to mine, digging in and making me want to wrap my legs around him tight.

I remained still though. This was a kiss to enjoy.

My lashes fluttered open, finding him already watching my reactions. His thumb grazed down my cheek, along the dried trails of my tears. It stopped at the edge of my lips, curving a delicate path along the tingling edges. I opened them, parting them, exhaling as he used the pad of his thumb to press down on my lower lip.

“Ronnie.” Another brush, harder, more determined. I opened my mouth, inviting him in and he danced in time, pushing with his tongue, tangling us tight together until we were only the clash of teeth and sighed moans.

Heaven.

A million years of nothing but blue sky and the sun’s rays.

I arched a little, pushing myself into his hardness. My body softened in response to the only game two people were meant to play. You give this and I’ll take that. You nip here and I’ll swipe there.

He pulled my lower lip in between his teeth sucking gently and I moaned long and low, making him smile against my mouth.

I almost didn’t want him to break the kiss to speak; but I wanted to hear any words he had. Air rushed between our parted mouths.

“And that’s the torment of the eating moan.”

“I didn’t know I did that.”

His lips skimmed mine again. “Sheer torment.”

“You should’ve told me.” I pecked along his mouth, pressing into the upturned edges. “Ronnie, don’t make sex noises while you’re eating.”

“But then what would I have kept with me all these years? There would have been blank space in the place of your moans.”

His words pulled me from the dark realms of his kiss. They dragged me towards the light like I lifted from the bottom of the sea and was about to break the water.

“What are we doing here, Matthew?” I opened a virtual window and let in a blast of cold air on the moment.

“Kissing like rampant teenagers?” His words hollowed me out.

“But we aren’t teenagers.”

“I know.”