Page 76 of If We Were Young

I ignored the tight squeeze in the pit of my stomach and tried very hard to silence the voice in my head singing: On a train with Matthew. On a train with Matthew. Nights away with Matthew.

I needed to focus on the very hard fact that he hated me.

H.A.T.E.D.

“Ah, so you are Supersaver Foods?”

Oh God, kill me.

Ma patted her hair which reminded me I hadn’t brushed mine. Had I even packed my brush?

I waited for Ma to let me past so I could see Matthew for myself, but she’d frozen, her hand still on her hair, her mouth slack.

“You’re…”

“Matthew Carling. I believe we met when Ronnie was at university.” He sounded so professional and courteous, smooth and assured. The snapped growl from our morning meeting couldn’t have been further away.

I had one conclusion to draw. He was schizophrenic.

Ma had a sharp frown on her face and stared at Matthew like he was the hardest crossword she’d ever faced. I know. He was.

I elbowed past her. “I’m sorry, Matthew. I’ve had some trouble with Hannah. I will need to get her before we leave.”

The scowl flashed back, and he flickered his gaze along my body.

He’d reserved his scowl just for me. I was such a lucky girl.

“We have half an hour.”

“I know. It’s just around the corner, but she wouldn’t leave until eight. Just five minutes, and I’ll pop around there now.” I didn’t explain the giant war of Messenger that’d taken place over the previous hour while I tried to extract my daughter from the party early.

“I’ll drive, we really can’t miss the train. The others are all booked, I believe.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Bloody hell.

“Here.” He yanked my bag out of my hand. In his grasp it looked rather more like a handbag. “I’ll put this in the boot.”

“Uh, thanks.”

I turned to Ma who still hadn’t snapped out of her dream state. “Ma, are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes.”

“I’ll get Hannah and then shove her through the front door at you, okay?”

“Sure.”

I turned to go, but she pulled me back and her cold slender fingers grasped my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” I scrunched my face. I could feel the black stare of doom on my shoulders as I loitered by the front door.

“Just sorry.” She shrugged, but she seemed shaken.

“Why do you look so weird?”

With a smile she shook her head. “Nothing, just an old lady and her silly thoughts.”

My eyes opened in alarm. She never called herself an old lady.