Page 22 of If We Were Young

I laughed, the enormous weight I’d been holding in my chest when I'd considered just how I would keep us all gainfully employed, lifted a few inches so I could breathe. “Prosecco.” I wagged a finger at him which made me feel so much like my mother I wanted to bang my head against the table. “We need to keep the client now; Supersaver are notoriously hard to keep happy.”

He slid out from the seat and I caught Natalie glancing between us. I shook my head at her. “Uh, no.”

Leaning forward, she shifted into my space, which was impressive considering she’d almost sat in my lap anyway. “Do you think he’d be interested in me?” She eyed his tight arse as he stood at the bar. He did have a nice arse.

I gave her a shrug. “Maybe. Guess you'll have to find out?”

She eyed him with speculation. “I will.”

Oh the confidence of youth.

I glanced at my watch. The working day was nearly over. At four thirty, it rounded close to the hour of the usual slope out of the office, but nobody seemed to be in a rush to get home. I grabbed my phone and dialled Ma. “It's me,” I replied when she answered and insisted on knowing who was calling, despite knowing it was me because my name would have flashed up. “Is Hannah home?”

When she confirmed that she was and was in fact sitting in the lounge watching Homes Under the Hammer with Ma, I asked if I could stay out.

Silence. “It's a school night.”

“Yes, but we just won that big contract and I want to treat the staff.”

“Well you'll be tired tomorrow, Veronica. You know you don't cope well when you go out midweek.”

“No,” I agreed grinding my thumbnail along the table. “Can I stay out though?”

Ma sighed. “Okay, but not too late.”

After I hung up, I found Natalie watching me. “What?” I asked.

“It’s nothing.”

“Well obviously it is.”

Natalie licked her blood-red lips and slid her glass of wine towards her. “I don't get you. I mean you're still attractive for your age.”

“I'm only thirty-five!”

“Exactly, you still look good for your age. You should have found another man by now.”

My back straightened. “And what do you know about it?”

Her cheeks flushed, but she pursed her mouth. “I know your husband died when you were thirty. I know that as far as everyone knows you haven't been on a date since.”

I flushed this time. “I have a daughter, you know. She's lost her dad, that's more important than anything.”

Natalie gave me a small smile. “I know, but you're important too. Maybe you'd be less uptight if you got some. We need to set you up with some dates.”

“Please don’t, my mother is already doing that. She thinks she’s the Husband Whisperer.” I shivered.

I thought of Matthew’s picture on Facebook. Where had it been taken? Who had he been with? His wife, I guessed.

Why couldn’t I be normal and not think about him?

I frowned into my drink muttering that I wasn’t uptight, but she’d turned away watching for Fred to hand her a glass of bubbles.

We were on our fourth bottle of Prosecco when my bag vibrated against my thigh. I panic-sweated that it could be from him, but it was Hannah who’d messaged to tell me she needed to make a solar system by the following morning.

I sighed and leant my head against the leather upholstery of the booth we were in. Voices chattered around me, swirling and filling my head.

I had to go home and fashion some planets out of... well, I didn't quite know yet.