Page 121 of If We Were Young

“Stew, can I have a word?”

Even Natalie’s lipstick paled.

I gestured him in and closed the door.

“Well done, you. I can tell you right now our bank balance will be looking far healthier now that cheque is coming in.” He lounged in the office chair, his tie askew. How old was he? Forty? No ring, pot-bellied but with a love of number crunching that couldn’t be restrained.

I’d miss him and his endless suggestions for dinner.

I scrunched my face. This was harder than I thought it would be. I looked through the glass wall to Natalie outside who drummed her fingers against her desk. Fred was walking out of the lift, rumpled and crumpled and in need of a good iron. I watched as he leaned against Natalie’s desk, his gaze shimmying down her blouse.

Ha. Told you, Matthew Carling.

Fred waved at me through the glass and blew me a kiss and a wink.

Oh. Okay.

Well anyway.

“Stewart, I think you know what I’m about to say.”

“That you want to go for dinner with me so we can discuss finances in detail?” He pushed his glasses back onto his face.

“Uh. No.”

“That you will give us all a bonus day off for all the hard work we’ve put in?”

I flicked a guilty glance at Fred. He really did give up an entire Sunday to help me get the job done.

“Can I afford to give you all a day off?”

“Well… no.”

“Stewart. Even with Supersavers, how low are things looking? I know I’ve been pinning a lot on the big rebrand income, but it can’t have helped that much.”

He palmed his shiny forehead, his fingers searching for hair. “We are going to be short on rent for the office space.”

“By how much?”

“A least a thousand.”

“But that means everyone is still paid until the end of the month?”

“Yes, and the month after. I’ve allocated sixty days per employee out of the forecasted earnings.” He loved numbers.

“But I will still need to dip into Paul’s insurance money to make ends meet?”

He nodded.

“That’s Hannah’s money. It’s so she can see the world and live a life without her father. I shouldn’t be using it to keep myself busy so I don’t have to sit in my mother’s house all day and feel sorry about the way things have turned out.”

Stewart shifted. “Ronnie, sleep on it. You’re tired. You and Fred worked through the night, get some sleep and then look at it with fresh eyes.”

I opened my mouth to tell him I was seeing things with fresh eyes. I was seeing myself for the first time. I wanted to fight against my need to not say anything at all. I couldn’t let this go. I couldn’t leave it another day. I couldn’t say anything at all.

“Stewart—”

Natalie cut us off by knocking on the door. “Ronnie, there’s a Liam Carling on the phone.”