Page 109 of Scandal Queen

When the wounds of our separation had healed and he held me tucked tight into his arms, he kissed the top of my head. “Happy New Year, my love.”

Reaching up, I kissed the edge of his jaw. “And you.” I kissed his stubble again for good measure.

“What’s your resolution?” God, I loved the way his skin pressed against mine, like the heat from him could warm me through to the marrow of my bones.

“That I will always stand by your side.” I said it with a ring of promise.

He turned slightly, pulling me in tight so our noses touched and breaths mingled. “I want to step down. I’m not leaving my mum and dad; I’m always going to be their son. But I want to step out of succession and take my life into the background where I can live with you and Daisy. I don’t want to live a lie anymore.”

I nodded, tightening my arms around him.

“Assuming you’ll still have me if I’m no longer the future king.” His breath brushed against my skin. “Can you love me if I’m only a man, with just his heart to give?”

“Ollie, I will love you even more.” I kissed his lips, tasting the warmth radiating from him. “I know it’s a hard decision, but you are the only one who can make it.”

“It’s just never going to change. It will be decades of the same thing and by the time I get to the throne it will be impossible for me to do anything about it. I’d hate that, to sit there in St Mark’s and be so separate from the people outside the palace walls.”

I watched his face. “I’ve ruined you, haven’t I?”

“I told you before. You’ve ruined me for princely duties, but not because you laugh at them, or you think we are silly poncy people, but rather because you make me want to do them better, and right now I can’t see a way to do that.”

I snuggled into his chest. “Your dad will be very disappointed.”

He shrugged and it rocked my body. “I’m going to speak to Dad when I get back. I’m sure there are all sorts of procedures in place, and paperwork to fill in.”

I chuckled a little. “I’ll hold your hand.”

“Good. Let’s sleep, I want to get up before Daisy to surprise her.”

“She’s missed you.”

“I’ve missed her, and you, and everything about us.” He paused for a moment. “And honestly I can’t wait to just get away and live our lives. I thought we could do this, could be us and live in private, but it’s not just the press who won’t allow it, it’s the palace too. I see that now. So many rules, so many barriers.”

“So many Marcus Cartwrights.”

He laughed and pulled me in. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

When the phone rang, I rolled, assuming Ollie had set an alarm to get up before Daisy, or even worse to go for a ghastly run.

I bashed him with my hand and then tried to slip back into my dream. There’d been unicorns. Honestly, it had been top drawer dreaming.

The dream had gone though, but I slipped back into a dark realm of I don’t want to get the hell out this warm bed.

“John?” Ollie’s loud shout jolted me back into the room. Still pitch black it couldn’t have been anywhere near dawn.

He jumped from the bed, grabbing at his jeans he’d left abandoned on the bed. When he didn’t take his phone away from his ear to button his shirt, his face a torn and desperate mask, my stomach dropped to the bottom of my feet. All sensations of comfort disappeared.

Something had happened. The pinch in my stomach told me so.

“I’ll be there in half an hour. No press statements from Marcus until I’m there. Not one.” He hung up the phone and shoved it in his jeans. When his hand lifted to mine, I winced in a breath of air that didn’t fill my lungs. Everything inside me echoed with emptiness.

“Ollie?”

“There’s been an accident.”

“What? What do you mean an accident?”