Page 40 of Scars of Silk

“So he doesn’t hurt you anymore?”

My tears flow faster and hotter. “No. But if he doesn’t get what he wants, or things aren't right.” I gasp a strangled breath. “My mum knows about it.”

“That’s why you went for Sunday dinner. Because you wanted to protect her?”

“I couldn’t help Will. I can still help her.”

We lay in silence. My thoughts spin too fast, like clouds on a clear day moving at the onset of a storm.

He moves, lifting me slightly off his chest. I think for one awful moment he's going to get up and put his clothes on. He wriggles down the bed until we are face to face, our noses almost touching.

“My dad died in August.”

I nod. “I know.”

“Elijah, I’m guessing.” He tries to hold his dislike in, but I can see right through him. Reading people is my most valuable skill. It’s just a shame it’s let me down in all the ways that matter.

“Actually, no; from Faith. She talks about you a lot.”

“Because I’m her best friend.”

“Is that so bad? She loves you. Just maybe not in the way you always wanted.”

“I’ve been so angry with her,” he whispers, his lips a hairsbreadth from mine. “But I think I’m angry at myself for failing her.”

“I know that feeling well.”

“So, your dad. If you don’t see that bloke again, the one who made you cry.…

“It wasn’t Scott who made me cry. It was my dad. He pretended that Will wasn't dead, that he was just too busy for Sunday lunch.” It sounds preposterous when I say it out loud to someone who doesn’t know my family. I can’t control myself, I giggle.

“Wow. That’s some heavy shit.”

“Yep.”

“So if you don’t see this Scott again, your mum will get the brunt of your father’s anger? Why don’t you call the police? Isn’t that what you are doing for Faith, gathering evidence for the prosecution?”

“Yes, but it’s not that simple. Mum won’t admit what he does. I know, Will knew, but she won’t say it out loud. Until she does, I can’t do a damn thing to help her.”

He nods. “When Faith told me what had happened to her, I wanted to kill everyone, everyone who hurt her, touched her, even so much as looked at her.”

I nod, but think, please don’t talk about her anymore. “Then when I think about it, I know deep down in my heart I’m as much to blame. I knew something was wrong. We were practically brother and sister, but even I did nothing.”

I nod, I can’t speak around the lump in my throat.

He smiles a little. “I’m guessing if this between us ever got out it wouldn’t bode well for your mother?”

There it is. The awful truth.

“I don’t get to have my own life, Dan.” I meet his eyes, my tongue tingling with nerves. “No matter how much I might want it.”

“What if no one knew?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if no one knew about me.? His lips curve into a delicious smile. “What if somehow this sex thing, turned into a few dates thing… but no one knew?”

I shake my head, but in my chest my heart thuds like the hooves of wild horses. “I’d never ask that of anyone. I have never asked that of anyone; and it’s not just that… People know me. My family pulls enough weight that I’m a story if someone wants to spin it.”