Page 99 of Tears of Gold

Before I go and check on Dan to see what he thinks of our ridiculous sitting room with its four sofas and more coffee tables than any one room should have, I pull out my phone. Our. Is there even an our? Eli walked away from me again.

I remember what he said to me on the pier the night he found out about Dan and mine’s moment of weakness. I would have given you everything.

What would I give him? My heart? My name? My truths?

I call his number, getting an international ring tone. “Hi,” he answers, and my heart pitter patters in my chest.

“Hi.”

“You okay?”

“Yes. Tired. I can’t believe you are in New York.”

There’s a pause. He’s obviously not making small talk with me.

“I’m sorry.” I hate the way my voice trembles.

“Faith,” he sighs my name and I tell myself it’s not full of regret. “I’ll be back on Wednesday. We can talk then.”

Talk. He wants to talk.

I know nothing about relationships at all. But hell, I can read a book and watch telly and I know talking means breaking up.

He can’t leave me. I’m having his baby. Can he?

“Speak to you Wednesday.” Fuck my heart is crushing in my chest. “I love you.”

I want him to tell me he loves me so badly. Instead he says, “See you Wednesday.”

I hang up and stare at my phone.

This is ridiculous. A flush blooms across my skin and my head begins to throb. I need today done pretty damn soon. My energy reserves are depleted to dangerously low levels. I have to think of the baby. This isn’t just about me and my drama.

I dial another number; this one is answered with much more warmth. “Faith,” Laura says with far too much enthusiasm. It rattles in my head like marbles in a jar. “Elijah said you would be away most of the week.”

Did he indeed?

“No, I’m in town. Listen, I need you to give me a list of all the Fairclough engagements this week; all the ones Elijah should be going to as well. Tell me who will be there, why the event is happening, and important people I need to know. Then can you send the list to Saskia and tell her I’ll need her to check my wardrobe corresponds?”

This is why the Faircloughs have people who do things. I get that now.

“Okay, Elijah told me to send apologies to everything, like he has for weeks.”

Did he indeed…

“No. Send it all to me.”

I end the call, barely managing to stand. I will fight for this. If Connie wants a Fairclough, I’ll give her a goddamn Fairclough. If Eli wants to know I’m committed, then I’ll show him I am.

Just as soon as I’ve had a nap.

Nap first. Taking over the world after.

Twenty-Three

On Tuesday my face is frozen into a grim smile. My feet are killing me. I’ve been on the go since my first lecture of the day. One dinner to go. Just the one then I can crash. Meetings, fundraisers, and social gatherings to celebrate the opening of an envelope are long and exhausting and quite frankly I can see why Eli has been turning them down since he became heir.

I haven’t heard from Eli apart from the odd message checking on me and the baby. It hurts.