Page 79 of Tears of Gold

Well she did not mention that to me. That’s rude.

I flick though the pages, and there is no denying the dresses are stunning, beautiful. Some of them I’d go so far as to say are exquisite. However, none of them cater for a rounding belly.

“Can I think about it, please? I’m sure the most important thing today is to choose a date.”

Ah, diaries to the ready. Jennifer grabs hers, and Connie—I’m such a mental Nana—slips open the Filofax she has on her knee.

“What are your thoughts?” Jennifer glances between Eli and me. We look at one another blankly. Are we actually getting a choice in this? I thought all choices were eradicated once I let Eli put a ring on my finger—it was a choice I was willing to pay.

Eli and I both know we have the pregnancy to consider, but I also have something else lying heavy on my heart. I take a deep breath and force myself to speak. “I would rather wait until after the criminal proceedings against… against…” I run out of air and Eli leans over and squeezes my fingers.

“That makes sense, Faith. I think that’s a good choice.” He smiles and his eyes crinkle around the edges a little.

“But we don’t know how long that will be. It would be far more beneficial to the situation if you were shown to be a strong woman in a successful marriage. Then press coverage of the wedding could very well weigh things in your favour.”

I stare open mouthed at Connie. There isn’t a single cell in her being that isn’t one-hundred-percent total bitch.

“I don’t need press coverage to make my case. What happened to me was wrong. And I am a strong and successful woman regardless of my marital state.”

She doesn’t say a word, just arches one perfect eyebrow.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I stand from the rattan sofa and stride away. I shouldn’t leave Eli, I know that. I promised him I would fight. But fuck that woman; I want to punch her. A dramatic sigh echoes behind me, but I ignore it and find my way back into the house and to Elaine in the kitchen.

“How’s it going?” She motions to a kitchen chair. “Do you need a whisky?”

I shake my head. Yes, I desperately need a whisky, but sadly it’s on the 'don’t consume' list, along with most other forms of food and drink.

“Just a water.”

“Okay. What’s what?” She motions to the shiny booklet in my hand and I push it across the table towards her.

“Ooh, look at these.” She flicks through the pages, one generous hip resting against the solid kitchen table. “This one, this one is perfect for you.”

I glance at the picture. It is stunning and she’s right, in any other situation that is very similar to the dress I would choose.

But I can’t.

Well fuck.

Then I cry.

Stupid bloody hormones.

Feet fall from the other side of the door and Eli bursts into the kitchen. I quickly shut the book, which is stupid considering I‘m never going to wear the stupid dress. “Hi, Elaine.” He leans over and kisses her cheek before turning to me. “Come, we’re going.”

“What? We can’t go, we haven’t decided anything.”

“I don’t care, I won’t have them upset you.”

My shoulders slump briefly but then I straighten my back and wipe my palms across my face. “It’s fine, it’s just the hormones.” The words slip out before I even think about them and Elaine gasps.

“Oh my god!”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” I smile but it’s watery. She rushes over and hugs me tight. “I’m so very pleased for you.”

“Thank you.” I squeeze her tight. “Right, back to the battle.”

“Faith, we don’t have to.” I meet Eli’s blues.