Page 68 of Tears of Gold

I sob loudly and raise my hands to my face and Dr Vernon steps away while I try to sort myself out.

“Thank you. I’m so sorry for turning up.”

“It’s okay, but, Faith, I think you need help. Whatever happened in your past; it’s still got a vice-like control over you. You’re going to be a mother, please think about getting help.”

I nod and reach for the little black and white picture she tears off the printer. I press it against my chest. “Okay, I’ll think about it. I’m sorry again.”

“See you in a few weeks for your twelve-week scan.”

I nod and send her what I hope is a warm smile. “See you in four weeks.”

I walk out and find intense blue eyes watching me. “What are you doing here?” I almost gasp. I only spoke to him an hour ago and he was in court.

He shakes his head and stands, sliding his hands from my shoulders down to my fingers. “What are you doing here? Tabitha sent me a message and told me how you freaked out. When are you going to start talking to me, Faith?”

“I just came straight here.”

“Without even thinking of calling me and telling me your fears?”

“You were in court. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

His gaze is fierce. “And I said you and the baby were more important than anything. When will you start trusting me?”

I turn slightly to the side and find the receptionist with the awful hair avidly watching. “I do trust you,” I keep my voice low. “I just panicked.”

His features soften and I find myself releasing a huge breath of air. “Can you panic with me in the future? I firmly believe panic would be far more pleasant if we panicked together.”

I nod and then lift the little black and white scan photo. “False alarm. Apparently, I’m just one of those lucky women.” I arch an eyebrow and he takes the paper, inspecting it closely.

“Definite growth since yesterday.” He grins and the blues shine bright.

“That’s what I thought.”

Dr Vernon comes out of her office, her handbag in hand. She really was leaving. Imagine if I’d missed her and had to wait until tomorrow… or next week. “Off you go, both of you. Faith, try to relax. Remember what we talked about.”

Those blues stare at me with intense scrutiny, but I grab his hand and pull him for the door of the office. However, once we are out of the building he stops on the street.

“Faith, what is going on?”

I smile brightly. “Nothing; I just freaked out because Tabs told me all her pregnancy symptoms disappeared before she lost her baby. It made me panic. I feel so much better today, and it was so sudden.”

His face is deadly serious as he watches me and thinks. “I don’t think you are telling me everything.” He holds his hands up in a helpless gesture and it makes my chest ache.

“There is nothing to tell.”

“So what did Dr Vernon talk to you about?”

I sigh deeply, stubbing the toe of my boot into the pavement. “Do we have to do this in the middle of the street?”

“We have to do it. So middle of the street, home, pub… wherever, you have got to start talking to me.” Lifting a hand, he pushes it through his hair. “Faith, I can’t help you if you don’t talk.”

My shoulders slump with a force of weight I can’t withstand. “Maybe you can’t help me with everything. Maybe you shouldn’t.”

“What did she say?”

“She noticed how nervous I got yesterday, okay? Are you happy now? She wanted to check I wasn’t in an abusive relationship, and she said.” I almost choke on the words. His eyes are wide staring at me in bewilderment. “She said I should talk to someone, a professional, because privacy wasn’t something I was going to be able to maintain as a pregnant woman.”

Eli spins away, his hands in his hair, his shoulders high. “That guy is never going to stop ruining your life.”