Page 123 of Tears of Gold

“Did you tell them how your nipples hardened for me? How you pretended to be staring at the ceiling while really you were loving every minute of it?”

“I was frozen in fear, you sick fuck.”

He steps closer and I cast my eyes to the side, but he catches the movement and laughs loudly, his breath hitting my face in an acrid wave. “No one’s going to save you now, Faith.” His fingers reach out and slide through my hair, down my throat and under the collar of my jacket. “I don’t know why you stopped our fun. We were never related; it was all just games. All children play games. Didn’t you and Dan play doctor and nurses? Didn’t he get out his big dick and prod you with it? Did you lay still while he did it, Faith?”

“Get away from me.” I push at his chest but barely move him off balance. “I don’t know why you’re here. There is nothing left for you to take.”

“Believe me, Faithy. There is always something for me to take from you.” He lunges for my face, his fingers grabbing my chin hard, his lips close to mine.

I twist and turn with all of my might, shrugging out of my jacket and stepping away. I don’t get far. He has hold of my hair and yanks me back, pulling me off my feet. I land with a bang on the ground and he straddles me. His hands skimming over my clothes.

“Don’t. Please don’t.”

I will never come back from this. There will be no fight I’ll ever be able to make. I scream at the top of my lungs until his hand slaps across my cheek. But I won’t be beaten. I won’t let him have me again. I scream again, anticipating his slap.

“Hey.” A shout in the distance makes my heart soar. I scream over and over again calling for help. Aiden scrambles up, his face white, his eyes burning with everything hell has to offer.

“I will always be in the shadows. You will never be safe. You will always be mine, begging for me.”

“I won’t, you fucking bastard.” Footsteps fall closer, running over the pavement. The voice is still shouting out.

Then a hard, splintering pain lands against my tummy. “Noooo.” I scream so loud I think there isn’t a person in the whole world that won’t hear me.

Aiden looks at me in surprise as I roll over clutching my hands around my stomach, then his expression clears replaced with sheer malice and he kicks me hard again, aiming at my protective hands. My fingers snap with the impact, but I don’t give a shit about them. He bends low, his breath huffing across me. “Happy fucking forever after.” Spittle lands on my face but I just curl in tighter ready for the next kick to come.

It doesn’t.

The sound of footfall rings in my ears and then darkness falls.

A blackness I never want to wake from.

I blink into a dazzling light. My hands hurt; I can’t even bend my fingers. The space around me is hazy and I blink some more, unfocused and unseeing.

My eyes close. The pain in my hands won’t go away. What the fuck is that?

Then I remember my tummy. The pain. The scream that ripped my universe in two. My tummy which hadn’t had time to bloom into a small curve, to fill my hands the way I wanted it to.

My baby.

A deep sob lifts from the place where I think my heart should be. Should be but isn’t because I can’t exist anymore like this. I don’t want to live always with the pain.

Beeping fills my ears. Stupid beeping. Go away. I want to die.

“Faith?” The most beautiful voice I know cuts through my scrambling thoughts. He’s here. It must be bad. He doesn’t even want to see me at the moment and now he’s here.

“I don’t want to see you.” I murmur. My head is fuzzy and full of cotton wool. My tongue seems slow, like I’ve drunk too many tequilas and lost all sensation inside my mouth.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Why?” He’s close, his words whispering into my ear.

“Because I’m a monster. It’s what I’ve always wanted to hide from you.” My head whirls. “I’m a monster who kills babies. A monster who lays there and lets people do things to me. A monster in ink.”

“Faith.” A wet splatter lands on my cheek followed by another.

“Why do my hands hurt so much?”