Page 121 of Tears of Gold

“I have no idea.” I shrug.

“Why are you wearing it if you aren’t getting married?”

“Because I hope one day, I will.” I shrug again. “Maybe.”

I’m not going to add that I desperately hope that Eli and I will get past this. What would be the point?

“Anyway. I think I’ve been here long enough.”

Jeremy takes that as his cue. “That’s right, girls, can we all say thank you to Faith.”

I give them a small wave as I start to pack up my stuff and Jeremy leads them all down to assembly or something equally awful.

“Miss?” I look up, taken aback slightly when I meet the gaze of the confident blonde girl, with her lip gloss and floral scent.

“Hey.”

“Miss, when did you know it wasn’t your fault?”

My heart thuds in my chest. Boom. Boom. Boom. “Well, I’m about to turn twenty-five, so I’d say nine years too late.”

She nods just once and then turns to chase after her classmates.

I watch her go, part of me mourning for her, and part of me mourning the girl who lost herself under ink and regret.

Jennings is waiting for me at the local train station. It was on a whim I decided to come to Bowsley after leaving Jeremy. “Thanks for picking me up. You didn’t tell them I was coming did you?”

“No.” He sniggers, highly unprofessional for a butler. “No, I didn’t.”

We drive in companionable silence until the many chimneyed roof of Bowsley comes into view.

“Will you be staying for lunch, Miss Hitchin?”

I meet his eyes. “No, Mr Jennings. I doubt that very much.”

Connie and Jennifer are in the sitting room when I come breezing in. Connie almost drops her cup of tea, but Jennifer’s face remains poker straight.

“Don’t get up.” I say to 'I’m so mental Nana'. “I’ve come to speak to your daughter.”

Jennifer gets up and beckons me to follow her, and we head to her small and elegantly decorated office—or whatever it is she likes to call it. I’ll call it the green room, that about covers it.

“Faith, this is an unexpected pleasure. I haven’t seen you at any events the last couple of weeks.”

“Cut the crap, Jennifer. You know Eli and I aren’t together right now.”

She looks genuinely shocked. Can he not have told her? Has he had any contact with Bowsley since he walked away from me?

“How can I help? I assume we aren’t here to talk about wedding dresses then?”

“I want to talk about setting up a charity and I wondered if you’d be interested in guiding me through the process?”

“A charity for what? You already have the Fairclough Foundation.”

“No.” I shake my head. “Nothing for art, although maybe in some elements. But listen, Jennifer. I don’t want to make a deal. I don’t want to have to sign away my soul just to get you to help me, or however these things usually work around here.”

“No?” Her lips twitch.

“No. I want to come to you as one woman soon to be a mother, to a woman who already is. A woman I know who cares for her children no matter how complicated her life is.”