Page 118 of Tears of Gold

“You’ve told me now. Please don’t lie to me again though.”

“It wasn’t a lie.”

“If it’s not your whole heart, it’s a lie.” She shakes out her hair and brushes her hand against her cheeks. “Listen, I’ve got to get these kids to school. Ring me later after you’ve spoken to Vogue.”

I go to tell her I might not call them, but she’s already gone.

Her words stick in my mind, Don’t lie to me again. If it’s not your whole heart, it’s a lie.

I slide my fingers over the screen of my phone before I can change my mind.

Secrets from the heart are heavy and weigh the most. To set them free is to release them for the world to see and judge. I’ll set mine free for you. For the three of us.

I send my message to Eli and then I get up and jump in the shower. This day isn’t going to wait for me, and I’ve got to keep attacking. Keep fighting. Keep winning.

“Yo, sister sledge.” I chuckle at Jeremy’s greeting as I answer his call, and raise my eyebrow at Gerard who is sat opposite me in the small cafe on campus.

“You can’t call me that. You are widowed and I am separated before even getting married.”

“He loves you.” Jeremy sounds so sure.

“I know. I’ve caused him a lot of pain.”

“I saw the stuff in the press. I wanted to check you were okay. What’s happening with the case?”

I groan, but not because I'm hiding, not because I’m running, but actually because I am pretty pissed off. “Nothing. At the moment the police don’t have enough to go on.” I hold Gerard’s eye. I no longer have nothing to hide.

Taking a large mouthful of my decaf latte, I wait for Jeremy to get to the point of his call. “I was wondering if you’d come into school.”

I spew coffee and milk all over the table. “What the shit?” Gerard pushes back and jumps up to get some napkins.

“Sorry, you want me to what?” My cheeks are scorching hot.

“I thought you could come in and show some of your work to my form class.”

“Why? Are they all budding artists?”

“No.”

He hesitates. “Spit it out, Jeremy.”

“I’m worried about one of the girls. I thought having a strong female role model might be useful.”

“I can’t talk about the case.”

“I know, but you can talk about being you.”

“Jeremy! No one is interested in me. I’ve had one bit of idle gossip printed about me in the paper.”

“And you are marrying a Fairclough—the hot one.”

“You married a Fairclough! And I’m not, not at the moment.”

“Pure semantics. You don’t have to go major deep, but you could come and talk about you, show them your ink, show them what a fighter you are. Maybe teach some of them to say no.”

Bile rises up my throat. “I’m the wrong person to teach that.”

“I disagree.”