Page 1 of Tears of Gold

One

Elijah’s gaze is unblinking as he stares out the windscreen. In front of us, the looming facade of Bowsley Hall winks under a late October sun. I don’t think Elijah can see the brickwork, the sweeping stone stairs, or the ivy creeping around the building like a sumptuous dressing gown on a once glorious but now fading film star. He’s staring at nothing, while I stare at him, my hand tightly grasping his.

We’ve sat here, unmoving, for forty minutes.

Pulling in a deep breath, I break the silence. “We don’t have to go in. We can find a hotel, a B&B even.”

He doesn’t turn, still staring, still silent.

Two days ago, we were here together, and I ran. Ran like I always do. He ran after me, without stopping to say goodbye. Now Peter, his older brother, is dead, cruelly snatched from his life while on a country road.

A heavy aching weight presses on my chest and I rub at the space between my ribcage. Elijah, his attention grabbed by my movement, finally pulls his blues from the windscreen. “We need to go in.” As his gaze lands on my face, it’s full of deep and dark emotion.

“Okay. So let’s go.” I unclip my seatbelt, not that I know why I’ve still got the damn thing on. It’s not like we’ve moved anywhere.

His face when he stares at me is tight, repressed. This is the Elijah his family brings out. Stiff and formal. I’m the balance to that. I’m the muse to his soul. “We can survive this, can’t we, Faith?”

My fingers lift to his face, skimming the bruises and cuts I indirectly put there with my own stupidity. “We can. We can beat anything.” Leaning forward, I tentatively plant my lips against his own cut ones. When I pull back, he’s still watching me. “But this isn’t about us. It’s about Peter and your family.”

He catches my fingers, squeezing them bone-crushingly tight. “Faith.” I hate the way he says my name like it’s a broken dream, and I hate even more the shadowing bruises on his beautiful face. My stomach turns and squeezes, but I keep my expression neutral and watch him. “Once we step in there, we’re giving ourselves up. With Peter gone, everything will be weighted on my shoulders. We should be celebrating the rest of our lives.”

I shake my head to stop him. “We’ve got forever to celebrate being together. This, right now, is about your family and your brother.”

With a snap decision, I pull my hand free from his and slide the ring he gave me only yesterday from my finger. It’s ironic that the one item of jewellery I never planned to remove is the first one to come off. “No.” His hand clenches around mine. “Don’t you dare.” The blues, so distracted since Jennings came to break the tragic news, flare with a flash of icy determination. “That stays on.”

Sighing, I shake my head. “I’m not your mother’s biggest fan, Eli, but I don’t want to cause her pain when she’s already going through enough.”

His head shakes slowly from side to side. “No, Faith. The rings stay on. It’s our promise to one another. The moment that ring slipped on I considered you my wife.” He pauses and my heart beats wildly in my chest, my breath catching in my throat. “Don’t ever take it off.”

I can’t argue with that. “I won’t.” It’s wrong on a million levels, but a slow smile curves my mouth and I can’t repress it. “Wife?”

His own lips twitch until he winces and a bead of blood springs to the surface. I gently sweep it away. “I like that name on you.”

“So do I.” Stupid and crazy as it is. Insane and unbelievable. “I really do.”

The depths of his eyes flash. “Let’s do this.”

“Whatever comes.”

He nods, swift and precise. “Whatever comes.”

He steps out the car, his shoulders stiff. Beneath his clothes his body is hurt, broken. I need to get him looked at really, he could have broken ribs and who knows what going on inside. Even knowing Aiden has been arrested on charges of abuse doesn’t relieve the pain of knowing Elijah got hurt.

It’s all on me.

Everything about me is twisted and dark.

But I don’t want to be that woman anymore. I don’t want to be her, the woman in ink, with skeletons and devils dancing in her wardrobe, harbouring secrets of the past. Yesterday, I took a step towards throwing off the shadows. Now, as we step up the stone stairs together, our hands tightly clenched, I know that I can’t go back. I can’t run again. I made a promise to Elijah and the words of that promise shine along with the discreet diamonds on my finger.

I can only run forwards. Face things head on. No matter who comes. My Dad. Aiden. The sins of the past. The future is the only place I can fight them. Brighton is no longer my home. Eli is.

Jennings opens the door and bows to us both. Eli doesn’t let go of my hand to greet him, instead his fingers squeeze mine tight. I’ve never thought before that Eli must have a key, I mean this is his home—was his home. Yet, Jennings always opens the door. I file the question away for another time.

Eli hesitates, and I hate it. I want to give him what strength I have. I want to remove the pain scorching through his heart, but I can’t. His brother is dead.

Peter is dead.

A pang of regret spears my chest for the man I didn’t really know until too late. Nothing like his younger brother, I’d only discovered just this week that Peter was far cooler than I’d ever given him credit for.