Page 91 of Tears of Glass

Ah, bollocks.

“Morning, Faith.” His face sweeps over my face, down to the ink teasing from under the edge of my crew necked wool jumper. I don’t like his eyes on my stories any more.

“Gerard. Listen...”

He holds out his hand, palm towards me. “The Faculty want to see you now.”

Shit. Are they going to throw me off the course? All because of the Faircloughs and their headlines?

One thing’s for sure, they all read The Sun, as does most of the student population according to the interested stares I’m having shot in my direction.

Damn the Faircloughs.

“So, you took him back then.” It’s not a question. We walk awkwardly next to each other.

“I love him.” Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? Let’s just spill everything, and all before breakfast.

He shakes his head, pale eyes searching my face. “The Faircloughs will destroy you. They destroy everything.”

My eyes narrow. “What do you know, Gerard?” My head shakes. “How are you so sure? Elijah will walk away from them if that’s what it takes.” I know this. He whispered it to me all night as he stole my body, my breath, my heart.

He doesn’t answer, but his silent response echoes in my head. What don’t I still know? I thought the last of the secrets had been served, but I can taste it in the air. There is still yet another thing being concealed from me. My hands itch to get my phone back out of my pocket and call Eli, just to hear his voice; to know that he’s exposed, and the truth has been served. I don’t. I carry on following Gerard as he leads me up to his office. A loud drum of doom beats between my ears.

Everything is spinning in the moment.

He pushes the door and my heart all but leaps from my chest.

It’s okay. I’ve started from nothing before.

I’d be gutted though. Now I’m back, I know I want my degree. I want that affirmation my work is first class.

Not that I’ve made anything in weeks...

The dean is sat in Gerard’s chair and shows no sign of moving when the office’s owner returns. There’s a woman in a pale grey suit and black court shoes stood by the window. She turns when I enter, and I breathe a sigh of relief it’s not Jennifer. For a moment I thought I’d entered hell.

“Faith.” Professor McAndrew, who I don’t think I’ve seen since my first day and attended the welcome lecture, waves his hand at the visitor seat and I slide myself into it. Gerard and the woman sit on plastic chairs which have been stolen from a lecture room and levered into the tight space of the office.

“Am I being expelled?” I can’t keep my question in. My skin prickles all over, flushed and sweaty. Is it hot in here? I want to peel off my jumper, but I can’t remember what I have on underneath.

McAndrew laughs. “No. Although I have a feeling you will be bringing some challenging exposure to the university.”

Well that’s embarrassing. Clearly the dean likes his news smutty and gossipy in the morning too.

“It’s not true.” I state firmly.

“I don’t care, Faith.” He pauses, touching his fingers together at the tips, creating a steeple that all academics like to do to make them appear intelligent. “Although, Fairclough exposure isn’t always a bad thing.”

“Hm.” That sums up all I have to say on the matter. “So why am I here?”

The woman stands from her chair and leans towards me, her hand extended. “I’m Miriam Lancaster.”

My eyes widen and my tongue dries, sticking it to the roof of my mouth. The Tate Acquisitions Director is in Gerard’s office.

She sits back down, smoothing her skirt. Gerard is watching me closely and I can read his thoughts all over his damn face. Don’t fuck this up, Faith.

“I had hoped to speak to you at Bowsley. Your glass heart was phenomenal.”

I cringe. “Yeah, it wasn’t built to last.” I raise my shoulders. What else is there to say? I smashed my best work ever. And yes, I feel like a tit for it, but I can’t change it. I can’t change anything.