Page 128 of Tears of Glass

“I was hurt, and I’m sorry.”

“You won’t ever fight for me, will you? You won’t fight until you face your past and what that bastard did to you.”

“I want to.”

My unspoken words hang between us. But I can’t.

He turns, and I watch as he walks away and while every shred of pain in my body is telling me to run after him, that look in his eyes, the one of sheer defeat roots me into place.

***

I WALK IN THE RAIN for I don’t know how long. The dress is nothing but shreds when I knock on Abi’s door. When Adam opens it he’s just in PJ bottoms and his face falls. “Jesus Christ, Faith, what are you doing?”

I sob, my chest lifting with hyperventilating gasps. “Is Abi here?”

He pulls me in and runs to the sofa to grab a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders. “Abs!” he calls up the stairs and a moment later there’s the distinct sound of grumbling and the slap of slippers along their upstairs floor. “Unless a celebrity has died, I don’t want to be woken, you know the rules.”

She stops on the stairs when she sees me. “What the hell? Jesus, what’s wrong with your eye?”

I lift tentative fingers to my swollen eye. Funny, I’d forgotten about that. It hasn’t even hurt until now. I wince as it throbs under the gentle pressure of my fingers. “Dan told Eli I slept with him. Aiden’s friends beat the crap out of Eli, and then I broke Eli’s heart.”

I start to sob. Big uncontrollable heaves.

“Well, jeez, Lady Fairclough.”

I frown through my tears. “Why are you calling me that?”

“He proposed tonight, didn’t he? That was the plan?”

I glare at her although my eyes sting. “How the hell do you know what the plan was?”

“We are tight with His Lordship.” She comes closer and wraps her arms around me. “How the hell have you messed this up, Faith? He loves you. I’d go so far as to say he has a borderline obsession with you.”

“He’s left me. He said I lied.”

“You ran again, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but that’s not what’s wrong.”

“What is wrong then?” She guides me to the sofa and Adam, probably very wisely, walks back upstairs.

“Everything. I’m a mess. How can I be normal and have a normal relationship?”

Abi picks up my hand and holds it tight within hers. “What Aiden did to you, Faith. It was wrong. So bloody wrong. But are you going to let it dictate your whole life? Eli loves you, and you love him, otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting on my sofa in a shredded evening dress. You don’t belong here anymore.” She sweeps back my drenched hair. “We love you, the kids love you, and you will always be my best friend—and Dan’s when you two sort this out—but, this isn’t your home. Not anymore.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Don’t you?”

I want to die. It would be easier than this. Easier than the hurt, the guilt, the despair.

I swallow hard, my hands shaking within her tight grip. “Can I stay here tonight? I need to go to the police in the morning.”

She smiles, it’s sad and watery, but it fills me with relief. “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to say that.”

“I need to be free, Abs.” Then I cry, I sob out every bitter repressed memory I own and my old friend holds me until I’ve run myself dry.

Eli is gone and I don’t know what words I can say to change the mess I’ve made. Maybe it’s too late for words at all.