Page 117 of Tears of Glass

“He threatened me. Well, you. He said he’d tell your family about me. About what I did.” My words tail off.

In a sudden movement, he grasps my face in his hands and holds it tight, leaning in until our noses are almost touching. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

I wish I could believe him, but my heavy heart thuds with a resounding boom with the cage of my chest. “Not just with Aiden, I know that wasn’t me. But what about how I’ve been ever since?” I sigh and meet his gaze. “Before you, intimacy was a weapon. I wasn’t the same as I am with you.” It takes everything I have to maintain eye contact. “What if someone sees me with you? What if that Sun reporter writes about us again; what about if someone comes forward and tells people what I was like?”

He shrugs. “So you slept with other people. It’s just us now.” He hesitates. “I know for me, it’s only you. I don’t want to look at anyone else, and I won’t. Not ever, from the moment we met it was just you.”

I swallow.

“How I am. You know, the way we are, together, when we are together.”

He smiles and leans even closer, his nose skimming my cheek. “The way we drive each other wild?”

My cheeks flush in the dark. “I’ve never had that with anyone before. The way I am with you, the way you make me react, the things you make me feel. But I know it doesn’t look that way to outsiders. I’m the woman who sleeps with anyone and walks away.”

“Faith, don’t—”

“Even my own best friend says it, Eli. Abs said I was a Praying Mantis for fuck’s sake.”

His shoulders shake, and he chuckles, kissing my cheek, my hair, and then finally my mouth. When he pulls away, he stares at me long and hard, unflinching as he looks in my eyes. “I don’t care what anyone says, or what my family knows or doesn’t know. You are the only thing I see.”

“Eli—”

He slides off the sofa and eases his way between my knees, his eyes still holding my gaze.

“Faith Hitchin, you are the only woman I’ve loved, and I’d give you my life if it would save yours. I give you my heart and my soul every day until breath no longer fills my lungs.”

“Eli, please.” A tear drips along my lashes but he carries on.

“I want you to be my wife, to be tied with me into every moment of the future.”

What did he say? He’s watching me carefully.

“Eli, I’m not marriage material.”

He shakes his head and my pulse is thudding so loud it might be the only thing I’ll be able to hear for days.

“You are the material I need to make my life work. Nothing else. Just you.”

My body shakes like a lone rose petal caught in a late summer deluge. Yes. Say yes. He wants you.

Leaning forward, I kiss his mouth, my tears dropping between us.

“Crying doesn’t fill me with confidence.” He laughs, but it’s off key. He’s actually nervous; beneath the calm of his exterior, he doesn’t know what I want.

What do I want?

“I love you.” I kiss him, harder, pulling him in towards me and tangling us with hot breaths and the press of desire. “But.”

His face falls.

“But. I need to deal with my past. I will be your wife, but I need to lay my ghosts to rest.”

I can’t believe I’ve said it, but the moment the words are out I know them to be true.

“I refuse to be your wife until I can be your equal and stand next to you with my head held high, knowing I have nothing to hide.”

“Faith, I don’t care.” I put my fingers against his lips.