Page 100 of Tears of Glass

“Love you.”

I hang up and stare at the ceiling for a moment. I still can’t believe this is happening.

But it is.

Elijah and I.

Uni is full of lectures and I try to focus, but I can’t. I’m torn between spiralling thoughts of the Tate and worries about what the hell happens now Jennifer Fairclough knows about us.

I’ve forgotten about Gerard wanting to talk to me until he catches me sneaking from the library and the fine art collection for a cigarette break.

“I hope you aren’t ditching class, just because you are a higher flyer these days.”

“Nope, just stopping myself from falling asleep. I don’t know why we have to do these ridiculous essays about history.”

Gerard groans and follows me out of the gates to lean against the railings. I spark up a smoke, not bothering to offer him one. “Not this again. I’ve told you at least a hundred and twenty-five times it’s essential to understand the science behind creation.”

I drag on my cigarette and puff clouds of white into the air above our heads. “So, I’m telling you for the one hundred and twenty-sixth time it’s as boring as fuck.”

“So, you and Elijah again?” He stares at me intently. “I should have guessed it wasn’t over when he convinced us to let you back in.”

“He did?”

Gerard grimaces a little. “Yes, very convincing case he put forward explaining it was the stress of the Fairclough project that made you act hastily.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really? Well, you know that’s not the truth.”

Gerard’s face falls, and it’s like kicking an eager puppy bouncing at my knees. “Let’s just move on, hey?”

His pale blue eyes meet mine. “You’re changing.”

“Hopefully in a good way.” I drag on my smoke. Awkward.

“Don’t trust them, Faith.”

“Gerard, I appreciate your concern, but it’s misplaced.”

His head shakes from side to side. “I was best friends with Peter at school. I knew about him; it was always glaring obvious he wasn’t a man’s man.” He dips his head for a moment and studies the pavement before lifting it higher and staring at me. “We were close. I was confused, Peter was experimenting.”

What the shit?

“So now you aren’t only married, stroke separated, now you are gay, too. Come on, Gerard.”

His face is deadly serious though and my stomach pinches. “It was a phase, experimental if you like, but he was my best mate and the Faircloughs hammered him into what they wanted him to be; no consideration for what he was.”

Sighing, I stub my cigarette out. “I don’t know what to say, Gerard.”

“Don’t say anything, just know what you are letting yourself in for. Elijah will fight for you. Of course he will, he’s a good man, but he won’t be able to protect you. They can’t even protect themselves.”

I nod, my heart aching and hollow. “I’ve got to go back to the library.”

“Yeah.” He leans against the metal railing but shows no sign of moving. “See you, Faith. You’re a bright star. You’re going to be so successful. Just remember who you are.”

“Like I can ever forget.” I give him a small wave and head back to the library, but my focus is lost; not that I had any in the first place. It’s not long until I find my way back to the studio in Elijah’s garden. There I sit and dream of shattered dreams and empty places.

“Hey.” The door clicks; it’s almost dark outside. Autumn is pushing itself in, and soon the clocks will be changing and night will fall in the afternoon. I slip off my stool and wipe my hands on a towel, padding across the space and sliding my fingers into Eli’s hair. My mouth meets his, and I breathe in his scent of soap, outside, and office supplies, mingled with the faint trace of aftershave. “I’m home for my date,” he mumbles against my mouth.

“I’m not ready.” I cringe. “Sorry, I got carried away.”