Page 60 of Tears of Ink

I sit up and dash my hands at the tears trickling down my face. “You know why I don’t trust anyone.”

“Yes, and it’s shit. It’s horrible, but you deserve much more than what you allow yourself to have.”

“Hey, I trusted that scumbag lecturer, and it turns out he was bloody married.”

“I’m not talking about sex, Faith. It’s got nothing to do with physical contact. It’s about trusting people who care about you enough to be there.”

“Well, Elijah’s already proven he’s crap at that today.”

Al goes to say more, “Your dad—” but then he starts to cough, and cough, and cough.

My chest aches and my stomach churns with every hoarse wheeze he makes. I’m helpless and useless on the other side of the phone.

“Al,” I shout. Shit, he’s almost struggling for breath.

“Faith,” Dan’s voice says.

I’m sobbing and manage to squeeze out, “Yes.”

“It’s okay, he needs to rest.”

“This is awful, Dan.”

“I know,” he whispers, and I want to wrap my arms around him tight and never let go. “I’ve got to go and sort him out.”

“I wish I was there.”

There’s a pause of silence. “Me too.”

The line disconnects, and I sob. Large droplets of water splatter the cotton of the duvet cover.

I don’t know what I’m going to do when cancer steals him away. He’s been here for every moment. From my earliest memories, through everything. Even when he didn’t know why I was acting out and covering myself in ink, he was still there. I still remember the look in his eyes when I told him.

“Hey.” Elijah pushes at my door, and his face drops in shock as he takes in my wet face and swollen eyes. “Shit, what’s the matter? Was it my bloody grandmother again? I’m going to nail that old woman into a box.”

I offer him a lame smile and brush at my cheeks. He perches on the bed and reaches fingers for my face. With a delicate touch, he sweeps at the trails of tears. “No.” Oh God, I sob all over again. I hate this weakness. Hate the way it makes me tangle into knots, leaves me aching and shuddering. “My uncle, he’s…” I can’t even say the word. I pull in a quivering breath, “sick.”

Elijah’s hand cups my cheek and he tilts my face to his. His eyes are deep pools of blue calm and I wish I could dive straight in and hide from the turmoil around me— from the loss I know is soon approaching. His thumb catches another tear. “I’m sorry.”

I shrug, still frozen under his touch. “That’s life.”

He frowns. “Why do you do that? Hide your feelings?”

He won’t let me move. His hand stays firm. “Because they aren’t to be trusted.”

Leaning forward, he presses his lips to my forehead and I battle another wave of tears. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Where did you go?” I brush away my heartache for Al and focus on what I’m supposed to be doing now. Although I can’t get over him leaving like that. I push his hand away and this time he lets it fall to his lap.

“I had to make some calls.” His expression is frank and open.

“All day?” Jesus, either he’s the world’s best actor, or he made a hell of a lot of calls—right when he should have been helping me.

He sighs and his shoulders slump. I wiggle my fingers under my leg, so I won’t reach out and touch him. “It was a lot of calls, and then I was working on something.”

“You left me with all those kids, Elijah.”

“Sweet little things, weren’t they?” He chuckles, and I find myself softening a little. Damn that dimple and the blue eyes.