Page 72 of The Game

"Take all the time you need." His voice did something to my insides, much like when you put strawberries into a smoothie maker and they turn to that juicy, squidgy stuff. I stalked around to the lockers, my wet hair hanging down my back.

"Why are you here, Jonathan? You got a job as a captain somewhere."

"Did you assume or know?" He folded his arms and leant against the blue of the door. The space between us ached and I wanted to shove my head down the nearest toilet if that would make it all better.

"Well..." I trailed off. Waller hadn't actually said. "Shit." I thumped my palm against my head. "That's why he wasn't surprised when I said I was coming to Surrey. He thought we were coming here together."

The Lancashire Lion didn't say a word. He just watched me as I ran through a million scenarios in my head.

And then I worked it out. "Please tell me you didn't get me this gig?"

"I wouldn't say got it for you. I got myself my gig and then happened to drop your name."

"But, Betsy?"

He shrugged. "Guess it helps if you have lots of people talking about you."

I took a step forward, "But Jase, you aren't a captain here, isn't this a step backwards?"

Those eyes blinked at me slowly. "I'm looking at it as more of a step towards something else that I need."

My tongue dried and stuck to the roof of my mouth as his hand reached out and his fingers linked loosely around my wrist. "Where have you been? It's been weeks? Sammy's been heartbroken." Fuck it. I needed to give a bit of myself. Share a part of me, so I said the words. “I’ve been heartbroken.”

He blinked again, his eyes shining with a depth that I’d never seen. "I've been sorting some stuff. I moved my dad out of the flat.” He scrubbed a hand into his hair, fine strands of gilt standing on end. “I sold the house I managed to keep in the divorce, the second one.” His lips twitched here but I couldn’t smile back, I was floored. His eyes glanced up to mine, a flicker in the deep recesses of the startling blue. “Truth is, Lyssi,” I died on the inside when my name fell from his lips. “I needed a clean start. I don't want to be that man anymore. The one that must apologise for things he hasn't done. The one that can't honourably stand up for the people he cares about. I needed a fresh start, a do-over if you will." His lips curved and my stomach plummeted to my feet.

At that moment, I may as well have never learnt to speak English or any language for that matter.

I wanted to ask him who he cared about but I had no words. That twitch curved his mouth, and he took one deliberate step forward.

Shaking my head, I tried to make space between us. I couldn't do this again, not another season of clandestine meetings and me falling deeper and deeper in love all the while knowing that he loved the game more.

"Lyssi," my name was low on his lips, “Can you give me a chance to try being a different man?”

"Tell me why you didn't want a job as a captain? You love the game more than anything. It’s your life." I demanded. I needed to know. I wanted him to say it. Tell me it straight. Was it because he was too old and couldn't get the gig or was it because...? I shook my head to myself. I couldn’t even allow the possibility to flourish within my imagination.

A shuddering sigh moved his chest. "Because I want you more, but I wanted to do it right. I’m not an easy man, Lyssi." His eyes flickered over my face and I stood basking in their light. “I know that. I’ve spent all my life fighting to prove that every sacrifice my family made was worth it.” His fingers reached for me but then dropped at his side, falling loosely. “I know I lost myself, I know that now.”

My heart stuttered a weird beat that made me feel a little sick. "Why didn't you stay at the Red Cats after they amended our contracts?"

He frowned. "Stay at a team that would rather I falsely admitted I had sex with a stripper than admit publicly I was in love with my fitness coach?"

"What did you say?"

He took another step forward. "I think you heard."

"Repeat it."

"No." He pulled me by my wrist. "You know it. I don't need to say it." His lips skimmed my cheek, my nose, before finally teasing my lips. When he pulled away, his arms tight around my waist—which was good, I was on the verge of falling— he stared me right in the eye. "Thank you, Lyssi. You and Sammy have shown me what I need, to be the man I want to be."

"What's that?" I croaked.

"Family."

I crumpled right there in his arms, cliché and ridiculous as it was but I slumped against his chest and lifted my mouth to his, where his hot breath mingled with mine as he bound me tight to his body. "The contracts? I can't get fired."

He laughed and placed his hands on my shoulders pushing me away, just an inch. “Didn’t you read your contract again?"

“Well..." I began to reply but his lips stopped any further words.