Page 76 of The Forsaken

All the things he felt for…

Kerr choked on his smoke.

He wondered if there was a term that fit fellows like him. If not, there should be. For he definitely would not compromise on marriage, but now he could see that he cared about her.

Care. You more than ‘care’ about her.

Hands pressed to the limestone railing; he leaned over and looked toward the moonlit spot where Andromena had uttered the three words only his mother had ever spoken to him: “I love you.”

No, it wasn’t that. Andromena’s was a woman’s vow; a love he had not even allowed himself to consider because of his future.

Maybe that’s why something shifted in his own chest; why warmth flooded the corners he’d always thought would stay dark forever.

Your fate or your fears, a desperate voice inside his head whispered.

As a lad, he overheard servants faithful to the Hollis family and viscountess whisper about their master’s insanity when he’d been a lad of eight, just as they did about Kerr’s late grandfather. The staff spoke among themselves about the young Master Hollis had been spared.

Kerr hadn’t believed it. He knew the maids, footmen, and heads of staff cared about him.

Now, he asked the question: what if they had been right?

What if?

What if you really are that selfish? Convincing yourself of what you want to believe so you can have what you want…”

The risk was too great. She deserved far more than Kerr’s shadow. He knew Andromena, a woman that fierce and true, always knew her own heart.

If he left her alone, with the way men fell at her feet, in time someone—maybe Kilmartin—would come along, woo her, make her smile and laugh, and—

Kerr let out a muffled cry. Kerr rammed his fists on the limestone over and over, until his knuckles burned, and still, it did not lessen the anguish of thinking of Andromena with—

Click.

Kerr spun. “An…”

“Greyhold, Culross,” he said, confused by their presence.

“No one has seen you for over an hour, big brother.”

Kerr wanted to hit something again. His irksome brother would do nicely.

“You’re playing nursemaid now, little brother?”

His littler brother didn’t even blink at the bait. “You’re upset?” Greyhold drawled. “You cost me twenty quid.”

“I’m supposed to care?”

“I predicted you went to visit your mistresses at Devil’s Den.”

“They aren’t mistresses,” Kerr said. He didn’t know why, but the distinction seemed important. Nor had he been back to the Devil’s Den since he’d found Andromena outside the place that night.

“I knew you wouldn’t leave.”

Kerr tensed at something he heard in Culross’s voice. He couldn’t know Kerr was actually here for a woman—his sister-in-law.

“I said you would save yourself the trouble and find some beauty here.”

What would Culross say if he knew Kerr was with a woman—the earl’s sister-in-law? Culross wouldn’t wait for a duel. He’d kill Kerr on the spot.