Page 75 of The Long Way Found

Anna had tried to tell him the same thing at the end. He'd nodded, filed it, and moved on. He'd felt bad about hurting Anna, but it also felt like he was watching yet another person get mildly annoyed at him.

About Luke, though? He felt absolutely wrecked. And the difference was the whole point.

He loved Luke. Really, truly, totally—more than he’d loved Anna or anyone else. He’d kept that knowledge on a shelf, waiting for a convenient time to deal with it. As if love could be scheduled.

He remembered that a birthday gift he'd bought two weeks ago was in his closet waiting to be delivered. He'd bring it tomorrow.

It wasn't much. But it was a reason to show up.

He turned off the conference room lights and stood for a moment in the dark.

He had made the wrong choice.

CHAPTER 28

LUKE

Luke woke up and smiled at the clock: 5:07.

Perfectly normal.

Coffee, prayer, meditation, Marley's walk.

No emotional hangover, no fuzziness.

I don't even want to talk to him right now.

Luke and Marley sat on the back deck as the sun began to light up the neighborhood. From the deck, he noted a few yard projects that needed attention soon. He might need to hire someone for a few things, but he'd always been pretty handy with the basics. It made him feel responsible and capable.

His phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. He could see the screen lighting up with a call through the window, and he knew what it meant.

He didn't move.

Marley's head tilted, watching him.

"Not yet, buddy," Luke said quietly. "Not yet."

He took a long, hot shower, luxuriating in the rainforest showerhead and the eucalyptus-and-peppermint body wash. He used his favorite face scrub, shaved slowly, and moisturized. He was in no hurry and was enjoying the sights, smells, and sounds of his little house.

That's when the first text came.

“Morning.”

Luke didn't respond. He turned off the volume on his phone so he wouldn't be disturbed by anything further, turned it face down on the counter, packed his bag and Marley’s leash, and drove to the AA clubhouse.

The building was a converted church basement with low ceilings, industrial carpet, and folding chairs stacked against the wall. But it was theirs. The Saturday morning meeting had just let out, and a few people were cleaning up.

"Luke!" Carol, one of the old-timers, called with a wave from the kitchenette. "You here for the cleanup crew?"

"If you need help."

"Always. Storage room's a disaster. Been meaning to organize it for months."

Luke spent the next two hours sorting through boxes of old literature, stacking chairs, and sweeping out corners that hadn't been touched in years. Physical work helped get him out of his head.

His sponsor, Suze, had told him years ago, "When you're spinning out, go be useful. Help someone. It’s the best way to cope.”

So Luke sorted and stacked and swept, and gradually, his stomachache mellowed.