Page 311 of The Lies We Play

She lets out a breath.

“And if forever is too big a word for today, then I will say this instead: I choose the next hour with you. Then the next. Then the next. Until forever stops sounding like a promise and starts looking like our life.”

I am gone.

Completely.

Even though witnesses do not have vows, I do.

I wrote them because I am not as good as Hal and Liv at remembering perfect sentences or making up beautiful shit under pressure. I know hockey. I know timing. I know how to read a body coming toward me at speed. I do not trust myself to improvise my heart in a courthouse while the two people I love are standing there looking like every future I have ever wanted and every fear I have ever had.

I reach into my jacket and take out the folded paper. I clear my throat.

“I know I’m not the groom on paper,” I say.

My voice comes out rough.

“I know where I’m standing. I know what the license says. I know what it doesn’t.”

I look at Liv.

Then Halston.

“But I need to say this anyway.”

Liv presses her lips together.

Halston opens his eyes.

I look down at the paper, then stop.

No.

I fold it again.

I know this.

“I met Liv first,” I say. “She was wearing too much attitude for someone that small, and she looked at me like I was a problem she might solve if she had enough time and a better pen.”

Liv laughs through a sob.

“I fell for her before I admitted it. Then Halston walked into a bar, and somehow the thing I thought was already too much became the only thing that made sense.”

Halston’s face is still, but his eyes are ruined.

“I have spent most of my life being told to focus on the game. Protect the career. Protect the image. Protect the body. Do not risk what everyone else thinks you can become. Then I found both of you, and for the first time, I wanted something no trophy could hold.”

I breathe once.

The room waits.

“You made me want a home.”

Liv’s hand covers her mouth.

“Not a place to sleep. Not a place to recover between games. A home. A place where Liv’s books take over every surface, and Halston pretends to be annoyed while making room for more shelves. A place where my gear is by the door and someone tells me to eat before I realize I’m hungry. A place where I am not an athlete first, or a brand, or a secret, or a problem to solve.”

My voice threatens to break.